Our Line In The Sand


“The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek therefore not to find out Who You Are, but seek to determine Who You Want To Be.

Neale Donald Walsh 

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Notice what happens in your mind when you Pause to ask yourself…

“Who do I truly want to be right in this moment?” 

Notice…

“What deeper intentions are actually directing what I will say or do in the next moment?”

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When I am actively involved in choosing from my Spiritual Arsenal exactly Who is going to be showing up, I am in the position of creating…

I’m in a state of becoming…and therefore fully responsible for any and all change that ever occurs in my life. 

This is one GIANT position in which to find oneself because…

At any one of my Pause Points, I can either choose the full Truth of Me…

Or any other somewhat distorted version of myself.

Either way, I am creating Who I Am…

So it is oh so crucial to reflect deeply on:

Just WHO this is.

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I am curious to hear your own perspectives:

When you’re at a point in time where you must say or do something…
How does it feel to you ~ within either your heart, mind or soul…or all the above(!) ~ to simply notice yourself standing in this position of responsibly creating something entirely new?

Then, how does it affect you as you move forward to speak or act? Did it change your first impulse?

Did it clarify details? Make you feel awkward or anxious? Free you?

Did it empower you in some way you might not have imagined?

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I feel that Pausing is that exact point where we toe our very own “line in the sand”…

Where we finally divide

What Was

From What Could Be.

I find that Pausing always creates that internal (and yes, eternal!) “click” we hear

When we agree within to “let go” and move on to present a yet larger version of ourselves.

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Just what exactly IS happening…

Within our entire Self…

At the moment we Pause?

Who

Truly

NEEDS to

Show

Up

Next

?

The School of Eternity

“In other words, nonviolence is a skill, just like learning to read. Love is a skill. The transformation of anger is a skill. All these can be learned. We cannot say we aren’t capable of nonviolence; all we can say is we are not willing to do what is necessary to learn.”

Eknath Easwaran

From Gandhi the Man: How One Man Changed Himself to Change the World

What am I willing to learn today that I may venture one more step closer to becoming a tiny bit more skilled…

In showing what Love could be…

For myself?

And for another being?

We can all learn.

But it is a choice…

A continuous choice.

So it only falls to us each individually

To have the first thought to DECIDE to do so…

And then to ACT upon that decision in some way…

Small or large.

No thought?

No action.

Take a moment to Pause.

Create a thought of Who you want to Be today.

Now, even.

Be conscious of having THAT “You” show up

All through your day today.

Then, tonight before you sleep, Pause once more

And look back over your day…

The radiant moments.

The neutral moments.

The difficult moments.

Reflect a few minutes on Who Really Showed Up

Each time….

And seek the “why” behind their presence.

Now, from this reflection

Create again in your mind

For tomorrow

Who will show up.

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See?

Tomorrow will be “today”,

But one step better:

One step closer to Love

Than you were today.

That

Is truly Learning…

At any age.

And we are each taking lessons

As Eternity’s Students.

A Sparkling Moment

“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly our whole life would change.”

Buddha

I don’t usually post twice in one day…

And I would apologize for visiting your inbox overmuch today…

But I’m not feeling guilty

For what I am about to give you.

Not one bit.

A few minutes ago, this opportunity came along and said to me,

“Share!!”

The beautiful flower souls pictured above actually live atop a hill in my yard…gracing my life this miraculous summer day of warm sun and cool breezes.

And after I responded to their call to snap a picture, I knew you would need to see them as well…

And know who they are.

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Are they miraculous or what?!?!

Just look at that happy intense color, that exuberant burst of energy…

I watch them as they seem simply to hug the sun with their starry petals and just bask there, brightly reflecting their yellow Sister in the Sky and sharing joy with whomever comes by!!

I am

In this moment

So blessed to BE…

And to SEE…

In this world!!

Oh to reflect such

Joy

Color

Light

Acceptance

In my life…

The way that they do.

Thank you, beautiful souls, shining today in my garden, for speaking to me…

And capturing my heart!

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What do you see…

Right now?

What gifts are before you

Just waiting for you to BE…

So you can SEE…

Even more than before?

Where might your current source of gratitude be presenting itself to you?

Whether hidden or not, it IS there, I assure you.

Take a Pause…

And find what you are to love…

Right Now.

BE

So you can SEE

The gift of your very own

Sparkling Moment.

The Habit of Empty

Jiddu Krishnamurti says:

“When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.”

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I am created to practice becoming “no thing”…

So I may become “all things”.

I am not meant to be violent.

What does all this mean, exactly?

One of the ideas from Lao Tzu in his Tao Te Ching just bobbed up in my heart to share with you: this particular verse is so encouraging, as it reminds us to “empty ourselves” so we may be continually filled anew.

Here is the whole (short!) Verse #11:

“Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub;

It is the center hole that makes it useful.

Shape clay into a vessel;

It is the space within that makes it useful.

Cut doors and windows for a room;

It is the holes which make it useful.

Therefore profit comes from what is there;

Usefulness from what is not there.”

(translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English)

There is so much more to contemplate here, but I will grab onto that last line:

“Usefulness from what is not there.”

As Jiddu Krishnamurti points out above, our beliefs can definitely get in the way of our ability to be of true help in our world.

We can only effect change when we empty ourselves:

Cleaning out unhelpful beliefs

Ceasing negative judgements (of ourselves, as well as others)

Releasing attachments (“it should be THIS way” not that way”)

Just imagine how we would be seeing the world if we did not carry around this “violent” clutter with which we fill our heart and soul vessels!

We would be able to see more clearly.

Think more clearly.

Respond in ways that we were previously unaware were accessible to us.

The door to our world opens ever wider…

And we can then walk forward to bring this idea…this open “empty” Presence to all beings.

Because…

We can only be filled…

If we are first “empty”.

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Easy to say.

Harder to do.

But…

If I can accomplish it just once?

I have readied myself for the next moment.

And then I am then completely open to repeat that emptying again…

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Choose.

Empty.

Repeat.

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Choose.

Empty.

Repeat.

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If I am finding such freedom in my soul just contemplating this sequence…

Choose…

Empty…

Repeat….

…then what joy and peace will there be when I actually ACT upon it?

Each thing that comes our way is the perfect “trigger” to remind us to empty:

Stuck in traffic

“Impossible” co-workers

The never-ending pile of laundry

The pouring rain when I wanted to go for a walk

Our irritation, sadness, disappointment are signs that we are too full, reminding us we need to empty.

We all know that near-bursting feeling that rises up and wants to take control when we’re overwhelmed.

That’s our vessel that is asking to be emptied.

And we know what happens if we don’t:

The overflow can cause some serious flooding…and often lots of regrets later.

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We also have the flip side, where we are filled with happiness:

We’re being praised for an accomplishment

We are so proud to watch our child succeed after hard work

We are overwhelmed by a beautiful sunset that stops us in our tracks

Or we’re intensely grateful for an understanding friend who truly listens to us.

These “fill” us in a positive way.

But if we cling to them too long, they will prevent us from being present for what is happening next:

We miss the next “now”.

So truly?

We are not created to hold…

But to let go.

Over and over.

For if, moment by moment, we decide to develop our Habit of Empty…

We will always find that we have a created the perfect space…

To be deeply present…

So Love may reside within our heart and mind.

And even more, perhaps?

Emptying to be filled again…is simply what Love IS…

And what Love was intended to be all along.

As our friends the Beatles so simply put it:

“All you need is Love”!

Choose

Empty

Repeat

This is living The Habit of Empty!

”Gr-Atitu-De”

“Sometimes we should express our gratitude for the small and simple things like the the scent of the rain, the taste of your favorite food, or the sound of a loved one’s voice.” 
Joseph B. Wirthlin

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I am a staunch believer that

Gratitude

Is our strongest Soul Tool.

It changes our minds

About what we think “IS”

And opens the door to a much wider view of…

What “COULD BE”.

It is the purest expression of unconditional Love because, by our choosing thankfulness, we are saying

“I accept (love) this moment/person/situation

Just as it is.

Without labels.

Without judgement…

With a faith, a surety, that there is way more underneath that I, in my humble and limited position, cannot yet see.”

Gratitude is for the tiniest flower…

For the most spectacular sunset…

And everything in between.

No limits.

And so for us?

No excuses to hold back ever.

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Now…

Say the word Gratitude aloud.

Do you hear the three word “lyrics” to a “spirit song” in that word?

Not yet?

Remove the “Gr” sound from the beginning and the “D” sound from the end.

Now we’re saying…

“…atitu…”

Nonsense?

No…

Sense!

We’ll need just a dash of poetic license here to discover that…

Gratitude cradles the sounds of three smaller words hidden within:

“Add”

“It”

“To”

Appreciation will always “add to” whatever we are experiencing in any moment, no matter what is going on around us or within us.

The practice of seeking opportunities upon which to place our gratitude will always expand our mind, our heart and our soul…

And suddenly we find

We are able to see far more than we did just a few moments ago.

We have just experienced…

The miracle of creation.

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Pause.

Notice where, and then what, in this moment, you would like to “add to” your day.

What “You” do you truly want to show up right now?

An old knee-jerk reaction…

Or a new gentler response?

Quiet over noise?

Speaking up over retreating?

We know what will happen if we choose to repeat what we’ve always done before.

Do we want to do that again?

Can we be brave enough to ask:

“How can I really reflect the True Me?”

Right on the spot, you can choose to practice

“Add It To”

In your situation.

Watching your “IS”

Evolving into your “COULD BE”.

Notice:

How is this impacting you?

Others?

The environment?

And should you feel so called, share a moment here what

“Add It To”

Added To

You.

See Love…Be Love

“Many people think of love as an emotion that comes and goes. In one moment we feel intense love and in the next we feel nothing at all. We may then become consumed by doubts about our relationships or get caught up in an anxious search for love, striving to attract someone who will finally give us the love and approval we’ve longed for. But in truth, love isn’t a capricious emotion but a state of being. It is an experience of unity with all creation. In every moment we can choose to be the presence of love and let that love guide all our words and actions. This choice will transform all of your relationships, including the one with yourself.”

From Daily Message 07-22-19

Day 8, Chopra 21 Day Meditation: “Miraculous Spirit”

I am transformed by these key thoughts:

Love is

“A state of being”…

“Unity with all creation”

So any transformation…

Is created from each single choice we make.

WE decide to choose to be unified…

To look for and pursue~

Whether hidden or apparent~

What best connects us to a person

An object

An experience…

In a way that guides that relationship closer to love

And further from divisiveness.

If I Pause just long enough to act in a loving, less harmful way

I am practicing uncovering more of Who I Am…

(Love)

And also allowing this revelation to become more true for the being or situation that is before me in that moment.

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We are each capable of creating moments of transformation.

By “Seeing” Love…

We will be enabled to reveal Love.

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Pause.

Choose to notice how you are responding

To anything, anyone that is right before you

In this very moment.

A flower

A rainstorm

A traffic jam

A rejection

A beloved one

A persistent “thorn in your side”

A miraculous thought.

Over time

As you practice Pausing

Notice

Without judgement

What your “go to” responses are:

Love-seeking…?

Or not?

“Positive”

“Negative

“Neutral”…

These labels matter not.

We habitually stick them on from our own limited beliefs and perspectives…

And so they cannot possibly reflect the total truth of something…or someone.

Go forward now…

Choosing your experiences

To hone your loving responses.

Realizing that every single time

Their presence in your life

Is gifting you with the chance to come closer to yourself…

To another…

To Transformation.

We…

Are the ONLY ones

Who can bring Love:

To ourselves…

To our world.

Any time

Anywhere….

And we do it

One

Moment

One

Choice

At

A

Time.

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Actively look for Love.

It IS there…

Because YOU are.

Prophet Photos

“The prophet does not ask if the vision can be implemented, for questions of implementation are of no consequence until the vision can be imagined. The imagination must come before the implementation. Our culture is competent to implement almost anything and to imagine almost nothing. The same royal consciousness that makes it possible to implement anything and everything is the one that shrinks imagination because imagination is a danger. Thus every totalitarian regime is frightened of the artist. It is the vocation of the prophet to keep alive the ministry of imagination, to keep on conjuring and proposing futures alternative to the single one the king wants to urge as the only thinkable one. . . .”

Walter Brueggemann, in The Prophetic Imagination

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Yes, this is one pithy quote and we can easily find numerous prompts for pondering amongst Brueggemann’s words. Today, I find I am most deeply intrigued by two very powerful concepts.

The first, stated plainly, is the idea of “imagination before implementation”.

And the second presents as a hidden question: What IS the definition of a “prophet”?

Pause and consider:

Can anything be accomplished without there being an initial thought? Our thoughts are the creative force behind our actions. Whether we are consciously aware of a thought or whether it is buried beneath, we are always motivated by our thinking, by our beliefs.

Idea, then, always precedes action.

Suppose I wish to learn about photography.

First there will be a “capturing moment” of awareness that there is something about photos and their creation that is intriguing to me.

I may be drawn closer to this awareness by a photo that captures a whimsical expression of a playful puppy…so I stay a moment longer to steep myself in the humor that it brings to me.

Or perhaps I am drawn to the vivid detail of the shades of orange in a photo of a flower that, had the photographer not paused to snap the shot, I would have bypassed on the sidewalk without a second thought.

Maybe as I walk outside I am thunderstruck by the immense expanse of a mountain skyline or a miraculous sunrise, and find myself longing to “own” this moment for a later time…

As I notice my reactions, a deeper thought appears:

“I wonder if I could learn to take such moments and preserve them in time myself through more artistic photos?”

With such awareness, the possibility of Change…has just been proposed. Even if I am not very likely to launch a career in photography(!) based on this spiritual nudge, what COULD happen…

Because I was curious about Change?

What new joy might it bring to myself, to another…?

What if the appearance of any such a thought is my soul signaling to me of a latent ability as yet unfulfilled?

It is here that I then cross over to “implementation”.

Any change must begin with an idea. With the thought “What if I were to go learn…?”, Brueggemann’s idea of “imagination” has taken place, opening new possibilities of “implementing” this thought. As a result, I may go look for a photography class in my area, perhaps find articles about how to select subjects for a picture, research online the best beginner camera to purchase, or search for an art gallery displaying more photos to further inspire me.

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So you can see how important is is that we guard over, and take responsibility for, our thoughts.

We must diligently watch our thoughts:

They contain the Power of Change.

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The second inspiration I received from Brueggemann caused me to rethink my concept of a “prophet”. I had, up until this point, always thought of prophets as singular and rare individuals, often divinely appointed to bring ideas, new “imaginations”, in order to shift a currently reality to a better one…someone who “shakes up the norm” so we cannot “unsee” what they are telling us. They were unique, brilliant and special…and certainly NOT ME! Prophets were charged with inspiring the remainder of humanity to listen in wide-eyed wonder as they presented deep truths, clarified our purpose and paths for us…more often than not to the point of deeper mental, spiritual and/or emotional discomfort.

But then I got MY thought shift:

What happens if we begin to see OURSELVES as unique and special…as actual “prophets”?

I mean this in the sense of the responsibility we each carry during each moment of each day:

Essentially, are we not moving through our hours and days “implementing” whatever we have first been “inspired” with?

James Clear writes:

“Every action you take is like a vote for the kind of person you want to be.”

If I choose to see my words and deeds as “prophetic”, this means I am broadcasting messages constantly…everywhere I go…

Whether I want to, plan to…or not…

I am always prophesying.

Ever stopped to observe WHAT you are saying with the way you live your life?

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In essence, my actions are the photos of my thoughts…

And I am continuously leaving behind a legacy with every one of my “thought/action prophecies”.

Do you see how we are actually each “prophets”, voting for the “kind of person [we] want to be”?

Can you come to terms with the fact that YOU are a Prophet too?

We must decide to be willing to pause to notice…and evaluate the messages we are sending.

We are called to trace back to the “thought water drop” that “inspired” the stream we are creating…

A stream that is “implementing” an ocean born of our own choices.

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Today, see if you can notice three times the action you are taking and then trace it to the thought or belief that brought you there.

(Caveat: This may take more time…our roots often run deep. But the knowledge gleaned from the search is crucial for our forward spiritual momentum.)

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Consider one (or more!) of the following questions:

How am I showing up right now?

Is this truly how I WANT to show up?

Why or why not?

Is this the prophecy I wish to reveal…about my soul…about my heart?

What vote am I casting

In this moment…

For the Prophet I Truly Want To Be?

Whom do you wish to reveal…

In your own Prophet Photo?

And what inspiration…

Will you now implement

To prepare for your very next Prophet Photo Op…

That “votes” for the Truth of Who You Are?

The 99% Rule: Part 3 of 3

“Ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is about you. Ninety-nine percent of what bothers others has nothing to do with you.”

Deborah Adele, excerpt from The Yamas & Niyamas; chapter on “Svadhyaya” (Self-Study)

In our third segment for this blog, we will more deeply explore Adele’s point that we are in need of a perspective reassessment…

And in her view, that’s 99% of the time!

Oh my…now that’s way more responsibility than I bargained for!

But…daring to look more closely, I find that yes, I am definitely living my life focusing on the importance of what is in the “99% outside”…and not enough focus upon my more important internal “99%”.

Do you do this too?

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Let’s face it: we humans don’t like pain or discomfort of any kind and when we choose to function in the 99% outside, we are simply trying to avoid internal turmoil, pain or vulnerability by shifting blame to another source.

Let’s take the phrase…

“YOU made me feel angry!”

This statement, spoken (or not!), is a move away from self and towards another.

Rather than taking a few moments to understand WHY we are angry, sitting with that discomfort of facing ourselves… we access relief in projecting it outside, away from ourselves.

If we will Pause to access our “friend”, Curiosity, choosing for a moment to bypass our fear, we could ask instead:

“What are reasons I might feel this way?

What do I really need in this moment?

Am I willing to express this need?

Why or why not?”

Our tiny word “Why” can take us a loooong way as we dig deeper…and if we are persistent, we WILL get to the root of our discomfort. Frequently we may find ourselves traveling far back into our past to an event that actually created a belief…a belief that we discover is now providing a foundation for much of what we perceive, project and do in our lives. AND suddenly we realize we no longer want this as a foundation…because it no longer “matches” Who We Are.

This “Digging With Why” is how we start to take responsibility for Our 99%.

Yes, it takes time.

Yes, it takes some work.

But there is no one else to do this: if we are not willing to look at our own stuff first, nothing “out there” is ever going to change.

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At the end of her chapter on Svadhyaya, Adele continues with these suggestions:

“This week notice how you turn the [99% quote above] around, blaming others for your own problems and taking responsibility for other’s problems. Practice taking responsibility for yourself and letting others be responsible for themselves.”

Strong words.

Okay, that’s quite a lot of work…and I’ve been this way for a long time…

Can I really Change?

Yes.

Because I can do this one Pause at a time…the entire bundle of transformation needs not happen all at once.

Since we are, ever and only, victims of our OWN thoughts,

We can either stay the same…

Or not.

Fleet Maull writes:

“Any time you attribute the cause of your happiness or unhappiness, satisfaction or dissatisfaction to something outside yourself, you give away your power.”

It’s very draining to be giving away power…

Yet we all do it…often.

Why?

We forget (or refuse!) to access our Pause.

But without our Pause, we will remain unaware we are giving away power.

Accessing Pause helps us begin to untangle ourselves from the mental and emotional habits that weaken us and move into self-acceptance and self-love.

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I’ve been observing lately what a juggling act I am trying to perform: SO many balls in the air that I want to direct (people, situations)…when I really need only toss one “ball” in the air…

MINE!!

Taking care of my 99% is more than enough…

And is actually all that was, is, and ever will be, required of me.

As I become clearer about my beliefs, my motives, and their attached emotions and needs, I can begin to decide how I want to “organize” my unique 99%. THEN I will be better prepared to see what is going on around me and be more precise about how my interactions can be positive and balanced, reflecting my purest, truest self…and allowing others to be freed to do the same.

And oh! Remember that Control we are constantly seeking?

Taking care of our own 99% will actually result in reestablishing control, freeing us from our trap of believing we must/should be in charge of everyone else’s 99%!

After all…

That’s THEIRS!

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Repose:

Today, take a few moments for yourself.

Reflect:

Consider Adele’s passages.

Reset:

Go inside to find what you’ve been looking for “outside” all this time.

Be curious.

Be brave.

Seek balance…one moment at a time.

It IS always worth the time and work.

Respond:

Seek now to commit to this “Rule of 99%”…

NOW.

Where you have Power.

You will always be 110% surprised by the results that your curiosity and perseverance will bring…

Once you become aware of the impact of The 99% Rule!

The 99% Rule: Part 2 of 3

“Ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is about you. Ninety-nine percent of what bothers others has nothing to do with you.”

Deborah Adele, excerpt from The Yamas & Niyamas; chapter on “Svadhyaya” (Self-Study)

So we were wondering in the previous blog how we can possibly find a feeling of “control” when everything around us is predictably unpredictable and oftentimes not a match for “how we want things to be.”

The hope and power in our lives comes from moving forward based on this thought:

In the midst of all this disarray,

we must remind ourselves we actually ARE in charge.

Wait!!

How can that be so?!

Because WE EACH get to decide HOW each of us responds individually as we we go along.

Our choice.

Our path.

Since no single one of us could ever have control over everything or everyone outside of us, we are left with only one simple choice:

We need to practice controlling only OURSELVES…

Our own individual responses.

No one else’s.

Nothing else.

Just ourself.

This idea truly brings relief…

Freedom…

And blessed Sanity.

By choosing this perspective, we actually DO have control in this seemingly topsy turvy world. The problems occur when we try to effect our individual control where it is never intended to be.

That is:

Anywhere that is NOT within us.

Now this does NOT mean we just sit back and say,

“Well, that’s how things are.”

Or “This or that person/situation is never going to change.”

Or “I’m helpless.”

On the contrary.

By Pausing to evaluate, instead of automatically forcing our “right” way to do things or expect things…

or giving up and walking away, or running away in terror…

we can step gently away and re-evaluate HOW we want to be involved…how we want to truly show up and “shine” in any situation.

We practice electing instead a mindset that chooses only actions that cause no damage…to others, to our environment…and yet at the same time, to ourselves.

In effect, we make up our mind to show up with a different pattern of thought and behavior.

But…

Since we are striving to do no harm in all areas –

people, environment, self –

Our actions must be balanced…and this presents our challenge. For with each “problem” I perceive, I will need to seek solutions that promote others AND at the same time promote myself…

I will be striving to balance Outside Myself with Inside Myself.

How about that for a complex solution?!

Yep.

We’ll need that Pause a lot…

In order to give us time to practice habitually putting ourselves in a perspective of Love and Compassion for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING involved.

We’re looking for Win/Win here.

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Some of us may be used to pushing our agendas through without allowing more time to consider the position of “other side”; then there are others among us who often do not speak up in a firm or timely manner so that we often get lost in the equation.

These two scenarios seem at first to both be Win/Lose.

But I propose that if there is a “Loser”…then even the “Winner” loses…

Because without finding a balancing solution, there is always damage to both sides.

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Both forcing and succumbing stem from Fear:

Of not being heard…

Of not being loved…

Of not being enough.

Or simply not remembering we are EACH equally valuable.

We forget that we DO have other options than forcing, running, hiding or giving in.

But we won’t see these hidden solutions unless we Pause long enough to seek them.

How can we develop the kind of openness that this new kind of “being in control” requires?

Please meet me in Part 3 to discover Deborah Adele’s suggestion for putting the 99% Rule into action in your life.

The 99% Rule: Part 1 of 3

“Ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is about you. Ninety-nine percent of what bothers others has nothing to do with you.”

Deborah Adele, excerpt from The Yamas & Niyamas; chapter on “Svadhyaya” (Self-Study)

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Adele’s words carry a punch that quickly brings us to a reality check…IF we’re willing to be curious about our current viewpoints. I find this quote freeing because it helps me see how I am holding on to so many things that are not truly necessary: Adele’s pointed words inspire me to examine more deeply the beliefs underlying WHY I feel I must be in charge of so many things.

Hmmm…

Is that “Control” I see lurking behind those kinds of thoughts?

I never thought of myself as a controlling person…until I read this. And I am now beginning to realize it’s not necessarily my outward actions that I need to examine here. It’s what’s going on inside with my thoughts.

Of course we all would love to be in control! We’d choose all the “right” weather, the most uplifting responses from our loved ones, the smoothest quickest traffic, optimal health, more impressive talents, copious positive feelings…(I think you know how to add on here, so have at it!)

But I see too that if we’re so busy choosing and orchestrating everything, feeling frustrated and stressed and even victimized when things didn’t quite match our “Control Template”, we eventually find we are actually losing control of the one gift we DO have:

Our present moment.

Right now.

Our Past and our Future only hold power through the attention we give them.

But NOW…is the only point in time that anything can be observed, evaluated and changed.

And not only do we have to Pause to do that…we need to choose to do so on a regular basis, not just sporadically.

So consider this: what will be happening if MY idea of what is “just right” doesn’t quite match someone else’s? Doesn’t quite match what is happening right now?

What response do I typically choose:

Fight?

Flight?

Hide?

With any of those, I’m going to be experiencing some level of upset, usually resulting in a mixture of mayhem mentally, emotionally and/or physically.

Pause Point:

Do I really want to keep repeating choices that invoke such mayhem?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’ve all been there.

We plan this or that.

Expect this or that.

And then life will go and hand us…

Exactly “NOT What We Wanted”.

So infuriating.

So unfair.

So crushing.

So wrong, right?

Actually…

So normal.

We wish people and situations to be different and we just KNOW we (and others) would have been happier if things were just a bit different…if only OUR plan had come to be, instead of what did happen.

And yet…as I Pause…that idea really doesn’t make sense.

It’s a “too many chefs in the kitchen” equation, with everyone’s expectations simultaneously desired.

Nothing would EVER work out ALL the time.

And isn’t that the definition of Life…of the “Reality” that so often marches right up and hands us what we DIDN’T want?

So I’m thinking…

Okay…maybe the way things are set up is the only way our world COULD work. The variety, the contrast, the ups and downs, the successes and disappointments…it’s all a “wholistic” smorgasbord of infinite available possibilities.

For me.

For you.

For everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

So HOW in the world can we prepare for times when things do not fit in with what we believe and want…

Because things WILL go awry.

But does this mean we just have to accept being “unmoored”, subject to everything that comes our way…and therefore unable to direct our own lives?

IS there an alternative?

Curious?

Join me in Part Two to explore further.