“Once you’ve

accepted your

flaws no one

can use them

against you.”

Tyrion Lannister (in Game of Thrones television series)

Part Three of Five:

Extracting Love

When we are selective about what we admit about ourselves (liking some things, rejecting others), or if we take on beliefs of others without questioning, we are leaving out pieces and portions of ourself, we are unbalanced, and can therefore never present a Whole Self to the world. In this way, we are lying…not only to ourselves but consequently, to all who ever cross our path. This results in an empty, unfulfilled feeling and causes us to search for completion…more often than not OUTSIDE ourselves rather than looking inward. We may use such things as staying too busy, overindulgence (often with food, substance abuse, shopping, hoarding), addictions/excesses of any sort (like how much time do I spend online, at work, watching tv/movies). It could even be searching for completion through a relationship with another person (“I am not enough unless I am with this person”) or a relationship with a job (“I am only whole when and doing X, Y or Z”.

But you get the picture: it’s about Pausing to see where there are imbalances in our views and beliefs…and more important, admitting the presence and power they have over us, and electing to change our relationship with them so that we become balanced…and therefore truly Whole.

In addition, being selective about our traits, accepting some/ignoring others, is not treating ourself with unconditional love…and this will then make it more difficult to extend this same love to any other component of our world, whether it be a person, another being on our earth or even our care for inanimate objects.

We can only share love in direct proportion with which we give it to ourselves first: so when I am selective about accepting only the “better” parts within myself, this is reflected in what I am able to share outwardly. If I hide things within, then I hide them externally…so no one can see all of me. I am not presenting my Entire Being, “flaws” and all…and this is not being truthful, to others and to myself. This is how we each “hide” pieces of who we are…and sadly, we often get really good at it as time passes.

I might think “I feel anxious because I am unsure of what I am to do next”, but what I actually say (in order that others won’t feel burdened or angered by my “silly” fear, or think I am stupid) is “Oh absolutely! No problem, I’ve totally got this!!” (accompanied by a big “confident” smile).

Perhaps I am afraid to admit a mistake I made, so I choose to lie or blame other people or reasons for the fact that I simply did not act responsibly. (It IS hard to face our flaws!)

Or maybe I feel sad because of someone’s judgmental comment but I remain silent and non-confrontational. Shutting off the heart that wants to speak but is afraid…is a slow but sure way to poison myself.

Yes, there is an appropriate time and place for expressing ourselves…but our Pauses allow us to decide when, where and how to do so. Continuing to “hide”, to ignore any part of ourselves, is a habit that will wreak all kinds of havoc over time. “Hiding” is never true…

And we are created, above all things, to be True…

True to pure Love.

There can be many reasons for our responses but it is so important to look at what we are hiding, how we are hiding and most of all, WHY we are hiding.

A Pause allows me to consider what can I pull from each circumstance that could enlarge my heart, my mind, my soul…so that I am transformed into MORE than I was when I fell short.

So here’s the BIG THING.

Ready?

Our flaws and mistakes will ultimately require that we forgive ourselves and forgive others…

Otherwise we find ourselves carrying them forever…

And you and I know they do become very VERY heavy.

NONE of us are created to carry regret, resentment, judgement, hatred and the like. When we do, we are slowly eaten away from the inside and cannot fully shine with our True Self.

There is Love.

And then there is everything else.

We are here to carry Love only…all else is unnecessary and ultimately debilitating.

But just how do I deal with forgiveness? It’s so so hard sometimes…

(End Part 3/5)

“Once you’ve

accepted your

flaws no one

can use them

against you.”

Tyrion Lannister (in Game of Thrones television series)

Part Two of Five:

Exiting Our Current View

Damaging events occur…have occurred, and will occur…caused by intentional or unintentional words and actions, or by events of nature beyond our control. There is suffering in our world on so many levels…we see and feel our own pain, that of others…we even watch as our earth suffers. We see Flaws everywhere, labelling them as “bad”, “not right” and “horrendous” and we rail against it all, saying…

It feels “wrong”.

This or that “shouldn’t be”.

Those people are “bad”.

“I am right…so that over there is ‘unacceptable.’ “

Or

“THAT is completely wrong!!”

These types of responses however do nothing to change what happened or what is happening…

UNLESS…

we choose to use such suffering to create a different reality going forward….

UNLESS we use the “negative” energy to propel us into action. These initial responses can become triggers for Pausing and possibly changing how we view things…

So we must agree to look within the Flaw for its balancing components.

For those who have not followed the television series Game of Thrones, a little background. The quote above came from Tyrion Lannister, younger sibling of fraternal twins Cersei, Queen Regent of The Seven Kingdoms, and Jamie, Commander of the army of Westeros. Tyrion was the only one of the three siblings to be born as a dwarf.

His entire life, Tyrion was reviled, misunderstood and rejected because of his physical appearance, and even blamed because his mother died at his birth. Most, noting his physique, immediately judge him as flawed…”less than”…repulsive …insufficient…disposable and then discarded as someone of little to no power…and therefore unworthy of respect. Nevertheless, he lived his life persisting in spite of others’ opinions (and their subsequent actions), stubbornly refusing to accept these beliefs as his own. He becomes a man of great wisdom, insight and compassion and these became his sharpest weapons, in spite of a physique that would (at least on the surface) seem to have “failed” him.

He discovers that, to survive, he must “accept” his “flaws”…

and this requires that he accept the entire being that he is. He allows it all to be there, not just the hand-picked “good” parts.

This is slowly revealed to the viewers as the source of his true and authentic power. By accepting the “whole” of Tyrion, he discovers that he actually has within himself balancing “resources” enabling him to survive the negativity attached to the “flaw” of being a dwarf. He hones these strengths even as his “flawed” self persists in pressing at him from without and within. Ironically, while others are busy focusing on and being distracted by what is “wrong” with Tyrion, he continues to persevere diligently in developing other strengths. He is not focusing on his physical stature; he is searching and strengthening other attributes that he continuously discovers within himself. He is an avid reader, learning from other wise minds. He uses the opportunities provided by being ignored to become an astute observer of human behavior, collecting a vocabulary of verbal and physical cues that would go unheeded by most others. And with such lessons gleaned, he later finds himself in positions of power because of, and then aided by, his quick mind and keen understanding of human nature.

I believe Tyrian is right on the mark with the words above and this made me reflect further:

Can I really declare a flaw (whether my own or one I see elsewhere) as such if I first Pause and then choose to use this expanded view to become more Authentic, more Compassionate, more Open, more Truthful, more Wise…

More ANYTHING that is greater, higher than my current state?

To progress along this path, we first must agree to accept our own “flaws” (as we see them) and also take the time to question the beliefs surrounding these flaws. And if we are to be truthful, we must acknowledge ALL aspects that we see as “lacking”. We can then see whether to keep, alter or entirely discard them as a basis for our future thoughts and subsequent actions. In this way, we agree to accept ourself ENTIRELY, with every inherent “strength” and “weakness”. This combination becomes our “Team”, working for us, not against us.

And here again, I find myself asking, “ARE these really ‘strengths’ and ‘weaknesses’?! Do these not each also contain their balancing opposites if we dare to look closely enough?!”

This is where the power lies.

But I must first Pause if I am ever to find them.

(End Part 2/5)

“Once you’ve

accepted your

flaws no one

can use them

against you.”

Tyrion Lannister (in Game of Thrones television series)

Part One of Five:

Examining “Flaws”

Take a few moments to consider the word “flaw”. Notice what reactions occur within your mind…your body. If you’re like most folks, it usually brings about a negative connotation, often creating thoughts and feelings we want to push away, run from…to ignore.

A flaw frequently presents itself as something we don’t want: in ourselves, in others, in our current circumstance…

Something repellant, to be avoided…

Something to resist or needing to be changed.

But what exactly IS the definition of a Flaw?

And…are Flaws always negative?

From http://www.merriam-webster.com:

• “a : a defect in physical structure or form

• b : an imperfection or weakness and especially one that detracts from the whole or hinders effectiveness”

But…could it be possible that a flaw is not always a flaw?…That a negative view may be only one facet of a flaw and therefore cannot be completely true all the time…That our definition of a “flaw” is a result of subjective observation?

Labeling a flaw as “bad” will ultimately be reflected in what I see: so what I expect is often what will be initially more apparent.

However, should I consider that a flaw may contain characteristics that are not necessarily “negative”, then other perspectives become possible to explore.

Here again, our current beliefs and subsequent choices come into play.

By agreeing to Pause for further analysis, we choose to become open to finding balancing attributes hidden within a “flaw”, freeing us to explore…

What makes a “flaw” NOT a flaw.

(End Part 1/5)

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head. Beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”

Anthony De Mello

Wait a second! My own beliefs can be making me unhappy? WAIT! I choose what I believe…so how could that be possible?

WHY would I possibly choose continued attachment to something that is making me unhappy?

That sounds backwards to the max!

Okay…so what is a belief, really?

My beliefs are simply repeated thoughts…that I am currently “attached” to because I have adopted them as “truth”.

They are thoughts that, at some point in my life, I have decided are worthy enough to base my subsequent thoughts and actions upon, and they are always hanging out, ready to direct my path at a moment’s notice.

They live in what I call My Belief Boxes.

Unquestioned beliefs are those that I am no longer mindfully connected to: I don’t even give them a second thought. Their lids are on the tightest of all and are hardest to open, as I haven’t bothered to look inside recently. My refusal to look at them more closely may result from my fear of what I might see…or the dread that I may have to change my ways…or just being too busy to stop and be curious for a few moments.

These unquestioned beliefs often get me into trouble because they bring into play my collective judgments, projections, expectations and knee-jerk reactions.

Unfortunately, I usually don’t even realize what beliefs are actually running the show.

Sobering, yes?

So here’s a balancing truth:

These beliefs can be modified or even eradicated at any moment we choose.

But…we can’t do that if we’re unaware of their presence behind the things we say and do.

So HOW do we even begin to notice these beliefs…so we CAN practice questioning them?

One important thing I have learned from being in a regular meditation practice is that I am not my thoughts or emotions. I am actually the observer or watcher of my thoughts and emotions, which come and go continuously. It is my “consciousness”, my “awareness”, that sees what’s going on, whether it is noticing my thoughts, my feelings, my actions or those of others…

But this awareness doesn’t change. It just observes…

Calmly

Non-judgmentally

And it is always present.

As long as I am in this position of watching, without becoming sucked into the stories and dramas of thoughts and emotions, I am able to have a clearer, broader view of what is happening. And it is from this perspective that I will be able to note my beliefs and how they are functioning in my life.

So here are a couple of questions:

“Is what I am currently thinking about a person, an event, a situation, a future action, a relationship, taking into consideration ALL perspectives that could be involved?”

Or another way to ask it:

“Could my perception/belief actually encompass the total picture…or is it possible I could be missing something?”

Humbling questions, those, as they bring us right up to the point of realizing…we can’t possibly know everything.

Yes, we are not omniscient…even though our belief systems might have us thinking otherwise!

Now be brave enough to ask an even harder question:

“To what extent am I willing to explore the possibility that perhaps my ideas are NOT the end-all answers in every situation…admitting (at least to myself!) that I may not know everything I thought I knew?”

Wow.

This is where it gets tricky.

Because at this point we are opening the door to some serious “boat rocking”…meaning, change WILL occur if we continue with this line of thought.

And how fearful we are about change in our lives determines whether we choose to rock our boat and to what extent we do. A lot of us avoid change like the plague and will do some pretty illogical things to avoid it.

Let’s say I have been cruising along these past six months or so, being rather lax about my exercise and a number of my eating habits (because actually? I have!) I’m not doing anything regular, I’m not feeling motivated and I keep choosing to eat stuff I know is not helping me improve. I’m gaining weight little by little, my clothes are getting tighter(!) and I know I should be taking care of myself…but as the end of each day comes along, I realize I still haven’t done a single thing about it.

Now begins the “self-flagellation” (as Martha Beck calls it!)

“What is WRONG with you?”

“You’ll never get going..you might as well give up!!”

“What a failure!!”

Whenever I hear those kinds of questions, I’m seeing warning flags everywhere, and these are what prompt me to look deeper.

Because underneath these unhealthy actions is a belief.

An unquestioned belief.

Since a change will only occur when its accompanying belief changes, the sole responsibility falls squarely in my very own lap.

Always.

With this diet/exercise scenario, I am unhappy…with my health, my body, my mind…and my spirits lower accordingly.

In this state, the belief is that I am currently accepting is that it IS actually okay to take this line of actions.

Otherwise? I would be doing something different.

So we must determine what beliefs are getting in the way of the change we’d like to see.

Whenever I think “I should go for a walk”, “get moving”, or “join a gym”, “eat more vegetables”, I hear from different beliefs:

“You don’t have to do it now. You’re so content just sitting here doing ________ .” (Belief: I need more comfort)

Or another:

“You’re too busy right now.” (Belief: I have to get everything else done first)

Or how about

“What will people think when they see me with my less than wonderful body?” (Belief: Others will judge me and embarrassment is painful)

Or “It’s too much work.” (Belief: I am weak, incompetent…maybe unable to complete the workout. More embarrassment.)

With further exploration, we will also discover that beliefs are running the “positive” actions in our lives as well.

For instance, I might choose to smile at someone. (Belief: This will help them feel happy/accepted/special.)

Or, I set up meeting a friend for coffee. (Belief: Connection is important/friendships need nurturing)

I write a note to say thank you to someone who brought me food when I was sick. (Belief: It is important to express gratitude because it seems to be so needed in our world.)

I let someone go ahead of me in heavy traffic. (Belief: It is good to be polite to others.)

You get the picture!

But the important part is to take a moment to Pause, be curious and try to determine what exactly is driving our current actions, whether positive or negative.

So…

Where to begin?

Say we normally complete a simple task with a certain sequence of motions. So…this time? We will deliberately choose to do it a little differently.

How about brushing your teeth using your opposite hand?

Putting your clothes on in a different order than usual?

Smiling at a stranger instead of the usual choice not to interact?

Backing your car into a parking spot instead of going in forward?

Regarding more closely the food you are about to prepare/eat and, before you interact with it, think of at least three people that made it possible for you to be able to cook/eat it.

Before automatically popping up and plowing into another day, choosing to lie in bed ten extra seconds so you may close your eyes and breathe deeply two times and noting how it feels.

When we elect to “change things up” in even the smallest ways, this “wakes up” our belief systems (which are actually the result of ingrained neural pathways) and this helps us begin to be aware of how much of our life is being run unconsciously by these unquestioned beliefs (thus enabling us to create new neural pathways).

Be aware…and Pause now for just a moment. Ask yourself WHY you are doing what you are doing.

For today, choose three (or more if you become inspired!) different actions to perform differently. Break out of your Belief Box and change something, however small. Notice how it feels when you do this.

Is it exciting?

Anxiety provoking?

Freeing?

Uncomfortable?

Does it make you frustrated?

Can you challenge yourself to be brave enough to try it again tomorrow?

How does it feel the second time around?

What are your thoughts and emotions this time?

How about for the rest of the week? What is shifting?

Again, just be curious.

Observe…

Without judgement.

Our only task is simply watching…to see what we can learn.

Once we are in the habit of practicing with these smaller beliefs, we can move into the more difficult ones where we may be more emotionally invested.

But for now, just choose to begin!

Begin with what makes sense to you; and you will know when to move on.

If you open your mind to the idea that things are not really “set in stone”, starting with smaller simpler tasks, this will begin a sequence of actions that will soon become a new habit. And you will begin to find yourself listening more closely, tuning in to your thoughts more frequently, noticing the variety that life offers…

Change will become less scary…

Confidence will grow.

You’ll be amazed at what the world is actually presenting to you.

And if you find you are unhappy, search for the Belief Box that is attached. Open it and decide what small change you’d like to make. You’re in charge, after all.

Because boxes that remain open are the easiest to change!

I believe George Bernard Shaw says it best:

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

“Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistance.”

Ovid

Never underestimate the power of each tiny step you take forward…

Even – and actually, ESPECIALLY(!) – those you take after a setback of any kind.

They are all heading in the right direction, regardless of their motivational source…

And yes, this means even the ones that might seem to go backwards…as they have lessons for us as well. As we continually reset our focus on what we want to bring to our own lives, we will find over time that our steps create first a groove, then a channel, perhaps later a trough or even a crevasse. The power here lies in the time spent in persistance…and persistence always means forward motion.

I am reminded of basketball coach Jimmy Valvano’s deeply moving and uplifting speech in 1993 when he passionately stated,

“Don’t give up. Don’t EVER give up.”

…a rousing statement coming from the soul of a man who had every excuse to do so, as he was battling terminal cancer with a handful of months to live.

Where does such conviction come from, especially at those times when things seem so impossibly insurmountable?

When we would certainly receive no judgement from anyone for finally laying down our heavy load?

Jimmy Valvano did not have the word “Quit” in his vocabulary. His words and actions throughout his life only and ever shone with vibrant faith, filled with the energy of love for the moment and with his signature passion for all he did…and for each person whose life he touched.

Jimmy V lived his life continuously reflecting the power of the drop of water upon a stone.

Jimmy V’s Speech

When we learn to take every event, every comment, every circumstance…

Choosing to see and then use these not as deterrents or excuses, but instead as single stepping stones towards our goal…

Then we have acquired the persistent power of the single drop of water upon a solid rock.

Our tasks may often seem as impossibly hard and unresisting as a stone…

And certainly none of us are exempt from these Stones.

But the water drop only sees the stone as the place it lands… the place where it happens to be right now. It cannot be anywhere else at this moment, so it drops exactly THERE.

Each drop, then, is symbolic of the importance that Now has for each of us. “Now” is that singular Spot on the Stone where we do our work, where we carve our hollow…

Slowly, persistently creating the smoother, more rounded landing for our every thought, word or action…

The rougher edges patiently eroded by our persistance.

Choose one Stone in your life.

Regard its shape.

It may be new and craggy…

Or it may be older, with some areas just beginning to smooth out.

Now see yourself as this Single Drop.

You alone choose HOW you land on the Stone and WHAT you are using to wear it down.

We may choose to drip with the power of

Gratitude

Faith

Love

Patience

Hope

Peace

Joy

Compassion…

Create your own list as you “drop on your Stone.”

But it is always up to us, whichever powers we choose to embody in each and every moment.

To drop requires no force, no pushing. The drop becomes full enough and it must let go. It does not question or decide to hold on longer. It releases because it is time.

Is there a place in your life where the drop is poised, ready to let go?

The repetition of persistence is the motivation for us to release each drop. We must let go to make way for the next one…

And the next one.

For it is only when we release one drop that we are enabled to strike the stone…

Again and again…

Creating opportunities for the growth and healing that are essential to our very existence.

So notice your Stone.

Choose Now

To Be the Drop…

That does not Stop .

A treasure trove of wisdom from Beatrice Bruteau:

“The universe is not some blind and uncaring organization of atoms. . . . It can easily be seen as a gigantic artwork, full of whatever it is that comes out as “feeling” when it becomes incarnate. We are part of this, creative contributors to this.

And this is the other effect: we bear some responsibility. We have to take our part in the work. We, for instance, are now in a position to do something about all the suffering. . . . We are agents within the system and can have causal effects on other parts of the system. We have intelligence, we have empathy and capacity to feel for others and to care about them, we even have insight into the Ground present in every being and calling for an appropriate form of absolute respect.

What will we do? . . . What does “God** want us to” do? Not a good way of putting the question, because it distances God** from the world, but the answer I propose is Be! Be creative, be interactive, be agape, give being, unite, be whole, be in every possible way, be new. The self-creating world is unpredictable. It’s like a musician’s improvisation. . . . But the artwork will always resemble the artist.”

**(Should you find resistance with the term “God”, please substitute a different word or phrase that serves you best and then read this in light of what may be speaking to you. Perhaps choosing the word “Love” might be a place to begin?)

This quote is so beautifully stated that I am hesitant to add to it at all…but it immediately brought me to the thought of practicing preparing for each day by asking myself how I want to show up…then taking action on those preparations.

How do I want to “BE” today?

I love the idea of being an artist. As I first awaken each day to the precious privilege of yet another day gifted just to me, I can imagine this day as a beautifully blank canvas. On this canvas I may draw or paint, add found items, attach collage, whatever strikes me, contributing my particular colors and spirit. And at first glance, I might even believe that the world is based on MY Canvas.

However, as I am creating, I step back a little for perspective and I am suddenly aware that my contributions are also a part of a giant, infinite canvas, where other beings are adding their particular artistic touches contemporaneous to my own. I see that the other artists could be human, animal, plant or even Nature herself in the shapes of wind, rain, sun, the terrains of mountains, movements of oceans. Landscapes and cityscapes will add their presences as well. Birdsongs, the shade of a tree, the salty tang of ocean air, the flavor of a ripe orange, the soft fur of my beautiful dog…

Everything is there.

And so too on this Giant Canvas we will find darker areas that draw attention with their stark contrasts…

Because they highlight absences, needs that are unmet, things that are as yet unseen…those areas of our Canvas World where we are drawn to paint our presence…to help others, our earth, to bring compassion, to break away from our comfort zones a little to reach out with color where there may be little or none.

So my questions for each of us are these:

What do you plan to paint today, should you be honored by awakening to one more morning?

And, should events occur that would keep you from adding to the canvas in the way you had planned, how could you see yourself adapt, so that your touch is remains vibrant, compassionate, harmful to no being or to our world, adding light and brimming with the truth of Who You Are?

How do we envision ourselves regaining our position of responsibility and respect for all that surrounds us in those moments we may temporarily lose our grander view of our Canvas…and of the Giant Canvas we all share? Do we lie in the the dust of our lapses or do we use our missteps as a prop to push us upright so we may continue to create our art once again?

Finally, all this thinking and planning is all well and good but ultimately Action must take place, if our Work of Art is to have any Power.

It is necessary that we actually

GO and BE that vision.

Begin with just a single action.

Welcome its future completion as if it were already accomplished.

Then add another act…

And another.

Do this every day, throughout your waking hours, cherishing each moment that you receive…

For we know tomorrow’s Canvas is not promised to us.

Today’s is the only One.

Go choose your colors, your mediums for today.

Keep an eye out for adaptations and new views.

Do no harm.

But no matter what…

Just

Go

BE.

Two quotes today:

“Although the wheel has thirty spokes its utility lies in the emptiness of the hub. The jar is made by kneading clay, but its usefulness consists in its capacity. A room is made by cutting out windows and doors through the walls, but the space the walls contain measures the room’s value.

In the same way matter is necessary to form, but the value of reality lies in its immateriality.”

Tao Te Ching #11

Translation: Goddard

And:

“Who would write on a page already filled with writings?

Who would plant a sapling where one is already planted?

One would look for an empty page and virgin soil.

Become bare earth so the Beloved may plant His seed, become a blank page so His pen may write upon you.”

From Rumi’s Little Book of Life: The Garden of the Soul, The Heart, and the Spirit (Translation: Mafi/Kolin)

So exactly how does one embody the useful capacity of a jar…how could we possibly reflect such “emptiness” ?

Better yet, WHY in the world would we choose to be “empty” anyway?

Wouldn’t this require that we give up our needs, our opinions, our desires, our feelings?

At first glance, it would seem that these verses suggest that very thing…that I somehow choose to become a sort of “not me”, that I become proficient in acts of self-effacement and in developing thoughts that must be discarded as quickly as they come, so that I can maintain a blank slate sort of mindset. Doesn’t this leave me wide open for making some really bad decisions, because my mind is now a useless space?

No, I don’t think this is what these verses convey at all.

I believe that they are asking me to contemplate being open…available…more malleable and accepting of other possibilities, other views.

They request that I ask myself “How open (empty) are you right now?” and then, “Where can you become more so?”

Openness occurs whenever I move to the observer’s seat, watching what is occurring around me. Life will continue to bring into my path other’s words, their actions, their feelings, celebrations, sorrows…

But if I am already filled with my own projections, judgements and preconceptions, then I am already “filled up” with my “stuff” and therefore unable to absorb fully what is happening and to access whatever power may be available for me in this particular moment.

Like the cup in the photo above, how can I possibly tolerate more, hold more?

I can’t.

So it follows that there must be a subtraction before I can add more.

Pausing allows this subtraction to take place. What might be taking up unnecessary space, blocking my ability to more fully comprehend and react to my surroundings in this moment?

So what could I subtract right now?

A simple example of being “overfilled” might occur during the act of driving a car. While our mind is partially occupied with the details of driving, additional thoughts of today’s errands, current worries, a rude driver’s behavior and say, the condition of a friend who is dealing with a stressful situation…are all vying for our attention…plus there’s usually quite a lot more than that! We find our mind hopping from one thought or feeling to another, checking occasionally on the traffic, then leaping back in again to follow whatever surfaces next in our stream of thought.

Over and over.

And soon the stream is a torrent.

There’s a LOT of pushing and shoving going on in there, a lot more data entering and flooding in…

And then suddenly?

We realize we have arrived at our destination.

And we don’t remember much at all about our trip.

Very little, actually.

Because we weren’t “there” to experience it. We were instead living in our thoughts and emotions instead of participating in our actual life that occurred during those “missing moments” we are now unable to recall.

We weren’t there.

Now that’s scary.

Really.

Scary.

Other things were filling our personal mind space and there wasn’t enough room to entertain the tasks necessary to drive fully consciously…

Yes – much of our driving WAS actually unconscious…

Because our mind “jar” wasn’t empty enough.

Talk about your DWI’s…

Another example:

Someone brings up something that they are displeased with. Whether it’s a dissatisfaction with you or with something else outside you, our resulting reaction often follows the same path we just described with our driving. This time we immediately begin to “fill our jar”, ready to respond, defend and/or fix the issues with all our automatic answers to the problem we perceive. We jump to conclusions. Frequently, the person has not even finished describing their perspective and we are already on the pathway of “partially listening”, as we scramble frantically within our head to resolve the issue at hand…

Now we’re moving into a type of panic mode.

So how much did we really hear of what they said?

Or really see?

Or even feel?

Just like the driving example, we weren’t there to experience all of it. Our thoughts and feelings dragged us out of sight, without a single protest from us.

And how dangerous is that, for us to be in a situation where we are probably missing quite a bit of vital information that could actually clue us in about our next words or actions?

It is only when we have the presence of mind to NOTICE that these thoughts, feelings and reactions are FIRST starting up that we are able to separate ourselves from them and really see the traffic, watch the bicyclist appearing on our right side, and hear the ambulance approaching quickly from behind.

And in the case of the displeased person in the second example, with our “empty jar view”, we would now be able to notice more than their words, seeing also their body language, hearing the emotion in their tone of voice, and possibly feeling the energy they are broadcasting so strongly.

But all these things we may very well have missed because our “jar” was too full.

The exact moment we notice that our minds are running wild and filling our jar to capacity or beyond, we actually perform a 180 degree turn, beginning instead the emptying process. As we focus more on what is at hand, instead of chasing our thoughts, we are more open and available for the solutions that we couldn’t see because of the clutter taking up our mind space.

And more space will become available with each noticing.

We don’t feel as trapped.

We can actually even breathe a little easier…

Allowing more helpful words and thoughts to become available. We see that we now have more choices…

Because our jar is less full…

And more empty.

Respond

Try this several different times today, just for a few seconds:

Just take a few moments to notice the constant chatter going on in your mind.

It IS continuous. And probably we haven’t even been aware of it up til now.

Sometimes there’s a conversation going on in there.

Other times we hear a Judge directing or berating our every move.

Or it’s just a commentary on what is happening (as if we need a translator!)

It can be somewhat of a shock. It’s pretty much a zoo in there… with no zookeeper in sight!

Until we stop…

And watch.

We begin to realize we are separate from the chatter. And just our stopping to notice creates a huge advantage, stalling the cycle a bit, eventually halting the flow.

To begin this adventure of keeping our jar empty, all we need is that first single step of simply taking notice.

From there, it will become our practice to stop a few more times, whenever it occurs to us, adding one or two (or more) pauses each day until we begin to establish a habit, an automatic reflex, to the presence of the rampaging thoughts, to the appearance of those automatic beliefs that are making assumptions when maybe they actually aren’t called for at all.

Do we really want so much to be on automatic that we aren’t even truly involved in participating in our own lives?

While I can see that I have missed segments of my own life by not fully “being there” as it happened, the practice of pausing has made a crucial difference in my more recent experiences. I am truly grateful for that shift in perspective and the fullness it has brought to my life.

As a page full of writing cannot be comprehended very well when more words overwrite and obliterate the original words, it also defies logic to plant one tree on top of another, as the trees would compete and choke each other out.

These verses seek to awaken us, to encourage us to become the “bare earth”, the “blank page”, “the empty jar”, for this is where true fulfillment will occur…

Beginning within each and every Pause.

Make it a point to stop and check in on a regular basis with what is happening in your own “zoo”.

Start to create more and more spaces…

With your pauses.

Choose one of your daily habits to use as a Trigger Action to remind you to Pause to become aware of your thoughts…to notice if you are all “there”, “partly there” or “somewhere else altogether”.

These triggers could be washing your hands, brushing your teeth, passing a certain building on the way to work, seeing something the color “blue”, taking the first bite of a meal…

Or how about every time you check your phone or other device?! Now THAT could get us into a regular practice faster than anything!

Choose whatever works for you.

Change it up or add other Triggers if you like…

The more the better!

Mantra:

“I EMPTY myself

That I may always find myself…

“FULL-Filled”.

For I am MOST “Use-FULL”

When open to my “FULL-est” capacity…

Which is…

Ironically…

Complete “EMPTINESS!!”

Stone columns called hoodoos are the most common geological formation in the amazing national park Chiricahua National Monument in southeastern Arizona.

Here we can find the remains of a massive volcanic eruption that occurred some 27 million years ago.

(Photo from http://www.nps.gov)

In addition to these unique hoodoos are also formations of balancing rocks that seem to defy logic: HOW are they standing and not toppling over?!

(Photo: Chiricahua National Monument website)

These two formations bring to mind a few spiritual questions:

When sudden explosions or long term erosions, small or large, occur in my life, what “hoodoo” is left of me? And are these remaining parts what I want to see reflected of myself…standing as an inspirational monument? How do I want to emerge from the quakes and eruptions of my life?

The answer for me lies not only in the hoodoos but also in the “balancing” rocks in the Park. These less common and therefore even more astounding formations are glorious symbols of “beyond hoodoos”…ones that made it through the erosions of time without falling over.

We each have our hoodoos – our core, True Selves – which we strive to maintain in upright position throughout our lives. And then we each are gifted and encouraged with our balancing rocks – those moments where the hoodoo stands in a miraculous moment – where all the power of our soul shines with amazing brilliance – and continues to stand over extended time…so that balance can be created.

We all have the potential within us at any moment to execute these balancing feats in our spiritual lives. And they can stand firm over time.

Believe this.

Never doubt.

Ask what you truly wish your hoodoo Self to reflect.

As each day evolves, swirling around you, carving your shape, be aware. Allow what you do not want to keep to be smoothed away…fear, anger, grief, self-judgement, excessiveness…to name a few. At the same time, choose what you want to remain: love, compassion, forgiveness, peace, patience, the practice of releasing…and oh so much more!

The erosion of life will always be a constant…

But YOU alone choose what remains.

See your Hoodoo Self stand tall in each moment…for each additional moment creates a chain of moments for a lifetime…and then watch as your monument of balance is formed, slowly evolving through the “erosion” that each moment offers.

Find strength in the fact that our individual core – our True Self – is eternal, and cannot ever be effaced.

Find freedom in knowing this to be true of yourself.

Each day, observe how your Hoodoo Self can transform into a monolith of balance, as you choose what stays…

And what remains.

How does your Hoodoo Self appear right now?

What is eroding your edges, asking you to release what is not part of your True Self?

Exactly “hoodoo” you wish to see remaining in place when life seeks to change your shape?

Unless we live in a vacuum, we cannot avoid that our shape will change. But we are always in charge of the transformation process…

Even not choosing is a choice. We will still be determining what is freed and what is retained, and therefore are the creators of the resulting Hoodoo.

We, not other people or events, are responsible for ourselves at all times.

So…

“Hoodoo” you see right now in your Heart Mirror?

“Hoodoo” you wish to see there tomorrow…

The next day…

Next year?

Stand tall.

Choose what to release.

Travel light.

Balance will come.

“If I write

what you may feel

but cannot say,

it does not

make

me a poet.

It makes me a bridge

and

I am humbled

and

I am grateful

to assist your heart in speaking.”

Nayyirah Waheed

I really love the idea of being a Bridge…😊

Of immersing myself in the feel of soaring arches as they swoop over and high above…

Of standing grounded alongside the struts and beams as they reach straight upward into irresistible supports of truth and trust

Of reveling from on high in such joyous views so infinitely spectacular and thoroughly revealing…that I would never ever want to leave those heights again.

And I was then thinking of how many ways we could each choose to be Bridges…by our willingness to bring change

To our words

Our actions

Our thoughts and beliefs…

Each of us creating Bridges

Ever stronger…

Uniquely beautiful…

Intertwined.

Connected.

If we all persisted in the building of Bridges…

There would no longer be any need for our fears

Of being lost.

Of being without a secure foundation.

Of not being seen.

Of being disconnected.

The Renovation

Which of my words are divisive and will I commit to removing one by one, replacing them with expressions of gratitude and compassion?

Where do my actions separate rather than join, and which of these will I replace?

What thoughts keep me from expressing my true self and how may I begin to change these ideas?

The Maintenance

What portions of my Bridge are currently supportive of Who I Am and are bringing connectivity to others?

And how will I make certain that these remain powerfully supportive rather than becoming weak through neglect?

The View

As I look all about me

And consider the possible directions the Bridge I Am could grow, I ask…

“What will I be building today?”

“I wonder where this might lead?”

And

“How will that change what and

how I see tomorrow?

Henry David Thoreau says,

“So thoroughly and sincerely are we compelled to live, reverencing our life, and denying the possibility of change. This is the only way, we say; but there are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one centre. All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant.”

I received from this quote a stunning image. I saw of each one of us…each a glowing orb radiating infinite silver threads…suspended together in midair. We are each poised to make our next choice, steering the direction of our paths with merely the touch of a single thread.

I saw that these uncountable shining silver threads are all our potential choices extending outward from the center of our Heart, blazing through our bodies, shooting out farther than the eye can see.

The effect of our combined lights merges together into a greater light…

Yet still with each thread maintaining the power and light of its own path.

Whichever one we select will always determine our next step…and the next set of threads available to us.

The orb of light that we are individually will still burn as brightly, but is now shifted slightly or greatly by the choice we just made.

Our light has changed…

But it is always reflected in the lights of others.

This amazing vision of all of us, with our glowing radii continuously reaching out, revealed this to me:

Our light is a shared light, our threads subtly connect us…to everyone else…to all other beings…

whether near or far, it matters not.

We all share.

Our influence may be subtle…from afar.

Or more powerful from closer by.

But we all touch each other in some way by what we say and do.

Because our silver light threads are connected.

These glowing threads of choice reflect our powerful ability to make monumental shifts in our world…at any moment.

What astounding responsibility we possess!

So we could choose to avoid questioning a thought or action…grabbing a familiar, thread without forethought, thus staying stuck in our usual view, resulting onc again in our usual response.

Therefore we remain in our usual unchanging path.

Or we can embrace the miracle of change by being curious enough to say, along with Gabrielle Bernstein, “I am willing to see this differently. I am willing to see love.” We are then choosing to shift our belief, staying open to newer possibilities, by selecting instead one new, brighter silver thread.

Whether we are aware of it or not, this process is happening in every moment of every day: every moment, we are making a choice, sometimes consciously…but more often without any conscious connection to our decisions whatsoever!

Just ponder for a moment how much of your thoughts and actions are on automatic: it’s quite sobering when we realize how often we aren’t really “there”, actually participating fully in what’s going on!

But even so…we are constantly being called to become more attentive, to notice our threads…and those of other beings…so that we may choose with more compassion. The messages are there…but we will need to pause, or at least slow down, to see and hear them.

These messages implore us constantly, continuously, whether we hear it or not, to shift our mind…to become re-engaged through the filter of Love.

As we practice this awareness, we will begin to experience life with growing astonishment and awe, seeing that we always have myriad choices available in – as Thoreau describes – “as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one centre”.

Paradoxically, we ARE each of us the “centre” and yet at the same time, combined to be One Centre, with our infinite paths available before us in every moment.

We are suspended, poised…

But no matter how alone we might feel, we are always suspended and poised…

Together.

Separation is an illusion…a story our mind tells us based on old beliefs, the thoughts and actions of others, all the data we are fed Day in and day out.

But we are not alone.

And never meant to be.

Hemingway understood this when he said,

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main…”

And so…we are taking a moment to Pause here…

To be curious…

To question.

We do this not just for ourselves, but for everyone and for everything else as well.

What thread do you and I now hold, poised to pull?

What words or actions are we preparing to put into motion?

What happens if we pause to open our Heart with Curiosity…to look up and all around us, gazing with the awe of renewed awareness at the silver radiance that completely surrounds us…

Do we see our own radiance?

Do we notice the light of others who share our life, our world?

As we now soften and become willing to “see differently”, which choices emerge more clearly as Love…and which do not?

Before any final decision, we need only inquire of both our Heart and Mind,

“What do YOU choose?”

Then we listen in this Space of stillness called Pause….

And hear their answer, only and ever echoing in reverse audio….

“Love!

LOVE!!

L O V E !!!”

Now let’s gaze into our future for one more moment (Yes that’s “our” because your future is mine, and mine, yours.)

Do we see our hand stay with what is familiar, what is habit, influenced again by our mantra of “too busy”…and remaining untouched by curiosity?

Or do we see it shift over, to select another warmer, brighter thread…

In order to share…

With the miracle of all the other glowing stars melded and merged together all around us?