“If you want to test your memory, try recalling what you were worrying about one year ago today.”

E Joseph Cossman

Speaking from experience as a talented and long-practicing Worry Wart of the highest caliber(!), I can say that one of the best lessons I’ve gained of late is learning to use my energy in more productive ways than continuously scaring myself to death with the dreaded “What if…?” Question…or her equally scary sibling, “Ohhh no…maybe you should/shouldn’t have said/done X…!”

Letting go of persistent worry is a huge hurdle to overcome…but adding a regular contemplation practice to your life is a tremendously powerful weapon to have in your Heart Arsenal! So give yourself the gift of a little extra time and energy with a Pause here.

Get comfortable. Think about turning up the corners of your mouth just slightly, close your eyes…and envision this “Doorstep Dialogue” with a Worry I’ll call “Confidence” (I’ll explain that name in a moment.)

See yourself waiting inside a warm welcoming room as you watch for any kind of worry thought to appear. When you become aware that a Worry has begun knocking at your mind, you rise to open the door…the Door to your Heart…and then greet her* kindly by name, so she knows she is being acknowledged (*I will be using feminine pronouns throughout this essay for simplicity. Please substitute the pronoun that works best for you.)

You’ve now opened bravely to the knocking at your Heart Door, knowing already who it is, and feeling that all too familiar mixture of emotions Worry always inspires…plus one or more typical physical signs like a raised heart rate, faster breathing, tightened muscles, a beginning headache or an upset stomach. But instead of your usual shaky salutation of “Oh my, is that YOU again, Worry?!”, you select a different moniker.

“Oh, hello ‘Confidence!'”

We choose here whatever “Name” we sense is appropriate and real at that moment…but it will need to be the opposite of what the Worry appears to be presenting to us.

Therefore, “Confidence” is my name for the particular Worry that appears in order to express her doubts about my ability to accomplish something I am planning to do.

Additional names could include “Being Prepared” or “Competence” or “Self Trust”…

Or perhaps names of emotion, like “Peace”, “Happiness”…”Excitement”…”Calm Heart”…etc.

Worries come disguised as many things. When we can figure out their true names – the authentic source and reason behind their appearance on our “Heart Doorstep” – they begin to lose their power, further weakening their ability to reduce us to that “other person” that is often unable to take action or make competent decisions. Calling worries by their opposite names also throws them off guard and helps us to take charge of the conversation.

One important strategy to remember during each conversation: we will be practicing staying a step or so away from the Worry so we can continue observing objectively, rather than being pulled into the fearful stories she presents.

Back to our Dialogue:

In as genuine a voice as you can muster, you simply say “Thank you for visiting, Confidence.”

Even if we don’t feel all that grateful or welcoming quite yet (and we usually don’t!), we will find just saying such words begins to shift things around a bit inside our Heart. Gratitude contains huge stores of positive energy and will carry us farther than we can imagine.

Listen briefly as Worry begins to speak up right away. You see, she’s planning on staying for a loooong conversation.

After all, she’s used to it.

“I’m really sorry to bring this up again,” she says, “but I am SO afraid you won’t be capable of……”

But here’s what’s different this time.

You’re going to speak right up yourself, interrupting her as quickly and gently as possible….because beginning in this very moment, the past protocol for Visitation by Worry is no longer in effect…simply because you chose to change it!

As you stand there looking over at her from a step or two away, you suddenly realize quite clearly, and with some surprise, that you are completely separate from this particular Worry…and you discover with relief that the view from this perspective is freeing you from being obligated to buy into her assumption that she has control.

That’s right: YOU are NOT your Worry. You are separate…just as you are separate from every thought or feeling you have ever had or ever will have. You can see the truth in this, because you are right there OBSERVING the dialogue from a step away. So how could you BE the thought or emotion when you are the Observer?

Once we grasp this idea, we can then accept that WE ARE the one in charge…and can remain that way by choice. Additionally. This will hold true for every Thought or Feeling that shows up in the future…as long as we maintain our watching from at least a step away. Not always simple to do…but fortunately something we can practice and improve. If we think of all the Worries and all our thoughts/emotions that have yet to come visiting, we can easily see that we will have copious future opportunities to practice stepping away, observing and then taking charge.

Returning to our dialogue, where Worry had just firmly stated her deep doubt and fear regarding our ability to accomplish our task. Our response:

“What? You’re apologizing for inconveniencing me? Oh no, no, no! I’m actually grateful you showed up. In fact, I believe you actually want to gift me by helping me discover something new about myself. Also I just realized the only way I could accept your gift was to open the Door to my Heart a little more so I could get a good look at you. Now I can receive what you have brought me!”

Worry tries again but you quickly use her new name to get her attention.

“Yes, ‘Confidence’, at first I really WAS afraid to open the Door and see you standing there…ah…again. You know, you really do stop by a lot. But since your last visit, I’ve realized I need to get some other things done. Since I, not you, am in charge of how to use my time and energy, I’ve decided to begin viewing my Thought and Emotion Visitors from a step or two away. From that vantage point, I see more clearly that I just can’t spend as much time with you as before.”

She tries once more, leaning in ominously with more concerns…but you jump quickly back an extra step.

“Well yes, of course you can still come visit! I certainly can’t keep you from knocking: after all, you live in my neighborhood… right next door actually.

But you’re just one part of many in this entire Neighborhood of My Mind that comes by knocking on my Heart Door with your opinions. From a few steps away, I’m just beginning to comprehend how the number of my visitors has increased. And each time I get dragged into your stories, I notice I become more and more anxious. My Heart and Mind feel pinched and crowded, my muscles are tense and sometimes I even feel kind of nauseous.

If I want things to change, its time to consider changing my viewpoint, tough as that may seem to be. Initially, that appeared like a lot of work for me. But you see…I need to be a bit more fair to myself, so I’m working out how to balance out all these visits from all of you neighbors. I’ll be taking some more space for myself…some time to Pause and assess things…some more time alone in between visits.

Worry briefly voices yet another concern; you respond.

“What? No! It is NOT selfish of me at all! Actually the ideas that I am selfish for wanting Space, and that I should feel guilty for even expressing that need, are two beliefs that have been blocking my Heart for a long time…and frankly, it feels just awful. I don’t want to feel that way any more. I’m done with it. And I now know I can do something about it.

So…as of this moment, I’m making some Space in my Heart by donating THOSE two particular beliefs to Goodwill…

That is: Good Will towards ME!

Excuse me while I put them out here by the curb for pickup.”

You return in a few moments, feeling lighter after unloading.

“Oh, and there’s more to my new plan:

Our visits will become shorter as I get more experienced at understanding WHY you’re stopping by. Because just barging in whenever you want and staying around for extended visits is not very polite…or compassionate…or efficient. I am intending that eventually we will be able to simply wave and say ‘Hello’ as we walk by on the street.

I realize you often have trouble saying what the truth is…it IS scary. But I’ll help you along by being curious about what is really going on with you instead of being afraid along with you. I mean, thanks to you, I’m already a little less anxious about opening the Door. And I know it will get easier each time because I’ll be focusing on being excited about searching for answers instead of fearfully running away from the truths you hold.”

Worry takes a step back from the Door…

Ahhhh, a little more Space.

She’s already learning!

“Well, again, thank you for stopping by, ‘Confidence’. I know your true message was to let me know that I really CAN do what I planned to do. I appreciate your reminding me of my habit of listening to the voice that says ‘You’re not ready’ or ‘What will people think?’…and also telling me that I need not pay attention to those ideas. I believe DO have enough courage to go ahead and take action instead of waiting for the perfect moment.”

You pause once more…but now it’s YOUR Pause.

“Oh look at the time! I REALLY need to get going. But again, thank you so much for coming by. I can see now that you’re really my Friend: you were just so bundled up in your Fear costume, I didn’t recognize you at first!

What? You’re feeling better now? Oh I’m so glad! I know I am, thanks to our spending time together. Well…Safe travels!”

After each conversation (and they will get shorter and shorter as you become more adept at courageously searching out the real messages), usher each Worry one at a time to your Heart Door, out into your Mind Neighborhood, watching as they walk away.

See yourself smiling as you wave goodbye, remembering she is simply your Neighborhood Friend who got lost searching for the truth and wound up hiding inside her dark costume of worry. After all, your Neighbors only visit because they hope you might eventually inquire about their real reasons for visiting: they don’t like being burdened either!

They sense (correctly!) that your Heart is the Door to those answers.

By relieving them of their Worry Costumes, one at a time, you are letting each one depart freer than when they arrived….each time gaining more Space and energy for yourself.

Over time, the visits won’t be so frequent or necessary and it will become clear that actually only Gift-bearing Neighborhood Friends surround us.

We see we can finally leave our Heart Door open all the time…

Because we are no longer afraid.

Practice repeating this type of Dialogue whenever you feel overwhelmed by a Thought or Feeling Neighbor…and it will soon become a welcome and easy habit!

And if you can use this story/visualization when Worry and Friends are NOT actually on your doorstep, you will find yourself even better prepared for handling them when they do show up. Include compassion and humor (for yourself and for the Worry) when practicing your dialogue for future encounters: Compassion and Humor are two of the best defusers of Worry that we have in our Heart Arsenal.

See yourself in the role of Leader. Accept the truth that you, not your Thoughts and Emotions, are the Owner of your Heart…

As you always HAVE BEEN!

And you will find that as your Neighbors lighten their loads, so shall you.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Knock, Knock!!”

“Who’s there?”

“A Neighbor bearing a Gift.”

“Oh come right in ~ The Door is open!”

I needn’t say too much here, as this photo definitely speaks for itself! I was deeply amused when I came upon this irresistible desert scene, just begging for me to stop and pay attention! I am so glad I captured it to add to my photo collection: every time I see it, it is always fresh and vibrant, bringing me such joy! And each time, I am immediately grateful for being surrounded by the gift of Nature, with all its lessons hiding in plain sight…if only I would just pause a moment or two to notice them!

Take a couple of minutes for yourself and comb slowly through the details of this picture.

What is going on here?

What might the “characters” and their surroundings be revealing to you right now?

Is there a story being told?

How creative can you get?!

(Don’t worry…you will see exactly what you need to see, every time!)

If you like, share here something you found that brought meaning to you.

Or maybe you make an intention to take what you discovered and “reflect” it or “merge” it in during an interaction with someone or with Nature during the course of your day today.

Afterwards, whatever you did, just notice what happens next – either outside you or inside you or both – and let that experience simmer in your Heart for a few moments.

Do you feel any shifting or loosening inside? Any change in perception?

Finally, within 24 to 48 hours, make it a point to return once again to the picture to see what other messages show up that you didn’t “see” the first time.

You will be surprised!

Have fun in your adventures with Nature today!

And PS:

A giant Thank You and much Love to the “Stars” cast in our photo:

Saguaro Tall, Saguaro Small, Rustic Mesquite Tree…and of course, the Shy Palo Verde!

I was gifted yesterday with the serendipitous discovery of this Latin phrase:

Ad usum simplicem

It translates as “for the simple use of”.

As I read it, I was struck by the realization that here I am, in this world, surrounded by people, creatures, plants, sky and terrain and water, experiences (pleasant, unpleasant and neutral) and my current material possessions…

Yet each of these is truly only being loaned to me. While it is easy to see them as “mine” – to assume they will always be around, or at the very least readily accessible – they really are not.

I am not the Owner but instead the Caretaker of all that happens to me, all that touches my life in any way.

This simple phrase, ad usum simplicem, reached out from an ancient, so-called “dead” language (Yeah, right!) and caused my heart and mind to come alive with a vibrant resurrection message:

“This? Everything you have, had have and ever will have? This never ending list of responsibilities?

All of it is ‘for the simple use of’. Anything beyond that would be excess and presumptuous attachment.”

“Simple use” is compassionate, not manipulative. It states, “This is not yours to own. It is yours to appreciate…merely by its presence in your path today.”

Technically, I truly own nothing. I am here simply interacting with an amazing world that carries extremes of beauty and harshness, and everything in between, and I do so only during these short moments I am honored to walk this earth. Just the privilege of interacting – of existing here – is the gift we each are given. Some gifts might linger longer; others may only visit me briefly, but either way, I have no say, no power over how long I have them in my life.

As I thought on this, I committed to practice creating the following inner view:

To see each experience as “on loan”…as a privilege, an honor that I may cherish and for which I elect to feel nothing but gratitude. I would seek a reason to appreciate each of my experiences today, respecting its appearance, recognizing that life may ask me to release any of it in any moment.

Because each gift that appears is “on loan”, I must eventually be capable of relinquishing each one…with no attachment. This total letting go is possible if I practiced treating the person, experience or thing with joyful appreciation for its presence in the moments I interacted with it, with no conditions attached, no expectations of its longevity, no attitude of entitlement. Whether present for a few moments, hours, days or years…I am in no way entitled to continue to receive them. Instead, as they appear in my life, my heart’s mission is to give them my fullest appreciation for as long as they are here.

Now, how do we accomplish this “relinquishing without attachment” part? Attachment seems inevitable, especially when our Heart becomes invested in any way.

Well…

Being willing and able to relinquish without attachment isn’t exactly saying I am a disconnected, unfeeling, heartless automaton.

No.

Ironically, it is quite the opposite.

If I am practicing remaining in a state of gratitude regarding the people, the experiences, the material possessions I have right now, if I care enough to be present and available, then this ever deepening appreciation I experience will cause a deeper connection, actually creating the only path that allows me to “own” what is being gifted to me. Later on, this commitment to grateful presence softens my heart, enabling me to release more fully. This is not meant to be a shortcut through the grief of letting go; it is instead a means to gently travel that difficult path, enabling us to bring all that we gave and received earlier when we were present with gratitude, so that we may walk with strength and compassion and honor.

There is really no other way for us to “possess” our experiences, our loved ones, all that is given to us “on loan”. We fear their loss…but Gratitude is how we are wired to “own”, to keep whatever life hands to us, so we do not truly “lose” them.

If gratitude is either absent, or partial, we are not able to fully partake of the gifts that are there. And when the gift is not readily apparent, as during our more difficult circumstances, this is how we are challenged to continue seeking the gift…and thereby to grow. Every experience we have is lovingly asking us to be curious…to have faith there IS a gift within it, whether we can see it initially or not.

Life never hands me perfection. How presumptuous would it be for me to expect that all will be – SHOULD BE – easy! This would be quite an unbalanced attitude, as we know there will always be a mix of what we might label as “good”, “bad” or “neutral.

So, we each receive…whatever is there in our path.

A naive and simplistic thought?

No ~ this is actually not quite as “Duh!” a statement as it first appears!

Just consider how many times a day we fight against what has just landed in our lap that we DON’T like or want, and yet we so easily accept what we DO like and want. But who ever said we get to have everything our way? That we get to be happy all the time?

That’s literally impossible, right?

Well, actually in one respect, it IS possible.

Here’s how.

If we can learn to turn our perspective into one of continuous gratitude…an attitude that expects the gift always, a mindset that seeks the gift always…

THEN we are actually receiving everything “our way” because gratitude will cause us to experience it as so.

We will begin noticing that we already have all that we need in every moment and this creates and builds contentment. And when we see life as “on loan” rather than a race to “own” – adopting an ad usum simplicem mindset – boundaries dissolve, walls fall…and openness abounds.

Gratitude, then, IS a type of Pause…a very, very Powerful Pause. It takes us from “loan” to “own”. Not only will it enable us to see more clearly how to solve the problems that will inevitably appear; it will also promote healing, soften conflict, lower stress and grow compassion…and that’s only the beginning.

With gratitude continuously applied, dissatisfaction gradually melts away, anger and sorrow are mitigated…and we find our beliefs beginning to shift.

Gratitude has the Power to change everything it touches…because Gratitude is a way to express Love.

Unconditional Love.

Yet how much power it can have depends solely on each one of us and how much of it we incorporate into our daily lives.

When we see ourselves as Caretakers of all that is being loaned to us, we are freed from grasping and greed, and released into pure appreciation.

We cannot really possess anything…ever. Because as soon as we leave this earth, all will be left behind…

And someone or something else will take over.

The only mark we can leave is the legacy of how we interacted with what was given to us in every moment…and the only actual “ownership” we can have of these gifts is through Gratitude. Ultimately, choosing Gratitude is our gift to our own life…and subsequently reciprocated to our world.

When it is time to let something go, the degree to which we expended the most gratitude for it, while we “had” it, will determine the ease with which we can release it. The more we were present through Gratitude, the more tightly we became locked into the connection we created then, and this lives on, even when the person, the experience, the object is no longer with us.

Gratitude is our greatest asset as human beings, if we will but trust it, allowing it to eventually become an unconscious and natural response to everything.

“Ad usum simplicem”

“For the simple use of”

Gratitude takes us from “loan” to “own”.

Without it…

We own nothing.

With it…

Everything is ours.

Yesterday morning, I listened to Part 31 of a 52-week meditation series in the free app, Insight Timer. Stephen Proctor is the guide and the meditation is called:

MIDL Mindfulness Training: 31/52 on Forgiveness: Healing the Heart

It inspired me immensely…and I wanted to be sure to share with you what I received.

Peace is found in forgiveness.

In the midst of this meditation, I received a beautiful image. I was standing on a shore. Forgiveness appeared to me as a giant, blue-green, slow-flowing river, comprised of the collective forgivenesses of each one of us, since the beginning of time. Each time anyone had ever chosen to forgive, they had contributed to this river and I could see new ones being added one at a time, their beautiful shades of blues and greens swirling and melding with all the others, until they eventually became one…indistinguishable from each other. The river colors appeared visibly cool but the water was always warm and inviting…always easy to step into.

I could see for miles and I saw that its banks were continuously overflowing, expanding little by little onto more and more dry, thirsty land, gently inquiring and nudging more and more beings to explore its shallow waves.

It was never forceful…just gently lapping around the edges and asking those who watched on shore to consider their readiness to place their forgiveness into its waters. I observed that some were reluctant to come forward, not yet ready to let go. Then there were others that wearily, one by one, came to the edge. The river was embracing all of their words and thoughts and feelings, instructing each giver to first watch these drift away, then to enter the water to float completely unencumbered in the current of the peaceful reward of letting go.

As I saw new forgivenesses being placed in the water, I noticed the more that were added, the more the souls waiting on the shore found encouragement and strength to do the same…even the more reluctant ones began to approach.

The river showed me that Forgiveness is ultimately a gesture of inclusiveness…

A reunion of all separate Pasts into one single Present.

Forgiveness gives us the free choice to become a part of this timeless, nurturing, growing river, in any moment we choose.

The river also showed me:

We all belong…we all belong together. And we will find release each time we open the arms of our heart and soul to forgive, whether we are reaching for ourself or for someone else.

But choosing to forgive is never a condoning of the wrongs that have been done.

It is instead an acceptance of the truth that we can, at any time, decide to set down our attachments to those actions done to us – or those we did to others – in order to relinquish any guilt or anger or anything else that causes us to suffer.

While the Past can teach us and therefore help us to improve, carrying the extra weight of emotional burdens has the opposite effect, preventing us from moving on…and also keeping us from fully experiencing what is happening now. In essence, without Forgiveness, we allow the Past to run our life and we lose the Present, which is the only moment where we can change, grow and thrive.

We cannot have both simultaneously.

So choosing forgiveness is, ultimately, a gift that we wind up giving to ourselves: we are finally saying “Yes” to what is going on in this very moment, without limitations from the Past.

We are choosing to suffer no longer.

We are unburdening our very soul.

And in so doing, we free others to do the same.

Place whatever is holding you back, whatever is causing any suffering due to past injustice, into this river of forgiveness. Uncurl the stiffened fingers that choke your soul and widen the arms that squeeze your heart, allowing yourself to release this load…and see it begin to float slowly away.

If you feel compelled to chase and retrieve it, wait just a few more moments. Observe what happens inside you as you create a little more space between you and your attachment to what has been painfully familiar for so long. Allow this newer, lighter feeling to enter that space and take residence gently and slowly, just as the river waves expand slowly on its shores.

Stay still…just a little longer.

Relax…just a little bit more.

Breathe…just a little more deeply.

Notice any loosening within, no matter how small.

Know that release and freedom can have a home here in your Heart.

Then feel the water slowly begin to surround you as you accept the warm peace that is yours, through the gift of forgiveness.

Begin now to float…

To allow the current to give you a new and joyful buoyancy.

Begin to swim with Love…

For yourself.

For all who float and swim.

And yes, for those who wait on shore, still burdened and unsure.

Because this blessed river can hold us all.

“Do not make a big show of your giving, because that invites feelings of indebtedness or reciprocity.

‘Do good work in secret,’ the masters say.

This is the Japanese concept of toku, which translates as ‘virtue,’ but in practice means ‘unrewarded good deed.’

Toku is like the love we shower on a new-born baby. As the baby grows, it knows nothing of our sacrifices; it just knows that it is happy.

Therein lies our reward. Give to those you love in ways they’ll never know, and you elevate the collective spirit of humanity.”

Philip Toshio Sudo

Repose:

Be kind to yourself for a few moments here, allowing Sudo’s words to surround your heart and mind. Read them a second and third time, noting how your perception and understanding begin to shift. Become aware of any tiny changes you feel…

In your body

Your thoughts

Your beliefs

Your very spirit

You may begin to notice warmth, peace, relief, challenge, encouragement…

Plus much more.

Just watch, without interacting or judging.

Reflect:

Find one word or phrase that draws you in, the one that is beseeching you to stay with it…pleading with you to allow it to meld with your soul.

Relax your thoughts just a tiny bit, taking a few moments to imagine their edges softening slightly….now allow these sharp edges to melt just a little more. Consider the possibility that you CAN experience change, asking,

“If nothing were set in stone, how would that affect my next thought, my next action?”

Reset

Inquire of your Heart,

“How might toku find a place to enter my life today?”

Perhaps you already practice this mindset.

Perhaps it is a brand new concept.

Or maybe you find yourself somewhere between those two.

But regardless…

Our lives, our individual worlds are always hungering for more of those “unrewarded good deeds”. And the ones that hold the most power are indeed those that require no reciprocity. An act that carries the demand of some expectation – a certain result – is weakened and warped. It is unable to bring about true change because it is impure, colored by our limited vision for its purpose. Its message is scarred.

The freedom that comes from an action that is created and then left to fly out on its own is truly one of the greatest gifts we can give to our world…

And ironically, simultaneously, it is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

This is true kindness and compassion, borne on the wings of unconditional love.

Respond

No matter where we find ourselves in this moment on our spiritual path, toku can be expanded. Take a few moments to search for an area in your life where toku can bring light and freedom to your corner of the world…a place where each of us is fully able to “elevate the collective spirit of humanity.”

Ask,

“Where do I grasp and cling to how I want things to be?”

“What attached expectations (on a person, an experience, a situation) are blocking my giving fully, completely, with no reservations or conditions?”

And finally,

“Am I willing to release my attachment to the results I want or expect, and instead allow the act to speak for itself, without any assistance from me?…Am I willing to leave it alone once I act?”

Select where you would like to practice toku in just one area of your life today…

And then complete the act.

A Caveat and A Benediction

Sudo states “Give to those you love…” This reminds me that we are all here to love…because we ARE love. And therefore this giving is for our entire world, not just a select few on our list of “deserving people” or those that are “easier” to love. If we say we are willing to practice toku, we take on the promise to share loving kindness equally, with any one, any thing, all of nature…in whatever way our path is crossed.

Admittedly a daunting task at first glance…

But remember:

We are Love.

We contain within our hearts all that is needed to say “yes” to this adventure.

Imagine what a stunning panorama we will see unfold because we freed others and ourselves with nothing but the simplicity of the very act itself.

What would that look like?

How might others be affected?

How would we feel?

The possibilities are endless and truly mind boggling.

Can we even begin to comprehend the transformations that are possible?

The Power of Love that would be unleashed?

I’m not sure we can…fully…

But let’s not ever let that hold us back.

There is much to create…

And our world awaits.

Believe it.

Act.

Let go.

Repeat.

I was inspired to write this in October 2017 but the thoughts are timeless, never failing to deeply move me as I reconnect to my Mom and the lessons she shares merely by being her genuine self. Thank you for spending a few moments with her beautiful soul as you Pause today along with me.

Yesterday I was gifted with the treasure of visiting my beautiful 80 year old Mom where she is cared for in an assisted living facility. As we live across the country from each other, I don’t get to see her as often as I would like, so it is truly such a treat and a joy to be with her.

She is in the early stages of dementia but thankfully still recognizes her children, stays active, can play advanced Classical piano music (wow!) and continues to bring great joy and energy wherever she goes.

This visit reminded me again of how she is such a true example of love, acceptance and the power of being 100% yourself: she is inspirational!!

I just now realized that her humor, her liveliness, her generosity and her curiosity are not diminished by her “cognitive impairment”.

Not at all!

These attributes are actually all magnified by her tendency to repeat herself so that being with her is uplifting to everyone she meets…

She assumes anyone who crosses her path is gifted, special, one of a kind.

I’m not going to use the phrase “cognitively impaired” to describe her. I can’t!

For I see that her spirit has blossomed into a grander wider version of herself than she ever was before she started having memory issues. (And she was a BIG personality to begin with!)

My Mom is still showing me the power of being 100% genuine…no matter what your age or “condition” may be.

She is the embodiment of Love and views our world and all the beings in it with a childlike wonder and delight…now also magnified by her increasing fervor and vibrancy.

An example:

She saw some purple mums outside and just gasped with joy and exclaimed about their beautiful color. Later we walked by them a second time and she had the exact same reaction. She didn’t remember she had already said those words earlier, and had that same reaction. To her it was brand new…and she got me to see them anew myself! She lives in a world that is never old, dull, repetitive…

Ironically her repetitiveness recreates everything!

I saw that my perceptions have lost some of their vibrancy along the way, and that I can, just by pausing and noticing, bring this brilliance back into my world…

And maybe then into the world of another.

I share all this because I am struck how someone’s condition or “label” can keep us from seeing beyond that condition or label…

We do this to ourselves

To others

To situations.

How easy it is to fall into the trap of habitually accepting things as they are and not pausing to question our automatic thoughts, feelings and reactions.

To not “see” the color of the flowers because we’ve already passed them by before.

My Mom showed me the splendor of her Soul and the Love that is in each of us…

IN SPITE OF LABELS

IN SPITE OF PRECONCEPTIONS

May I always view my world with wonder

With overflowing joy

With endless curiosity

With deepest gratefulness

With unmitigated flamboyance

May I always honor that I too

Am a source of infinite Love

As are every one of you!!

Thank you, beautiful Mom🌹

My beacon of light 🌟

I love you so much!!💕👭💕

“Nothing in the world is softer and weaker than water. But for attacking the hard, the unyielding, nothing can surpass it. There is nothing like it.”

Tao Te Ching Verse 78

I love the lesson here!

When we let go of resistance, allowing the opportunities of life to direct our thoughts solely into actions of kindness and non-judgement, when we persist by using only unconditional patience – with others and with ourselves…

Then we have the most strength, the strongest effect.

The “personality” of water encourages us to live a paradoxical life by allowing Love to do its slow but irresistible work…by being soft, not hard; flexible, not rigid.

It asks of us nothing more than to be the open channel through which it may flow…

Without resistance

Without our opinions

Without our agendas

Without our “good intentions”

Or any sense of entitlement.

What would our world be like if we would choose…

Just for today

Just for this hour

Okay…only enough time for one or two breaths?

Then just for this Pause moment…

To emulate just one of the many astonishing qualities of water…?

We would each be raining love everywhere we went!

Water asks:

How could you be

Just like me

Right now?

I am grateful in this moment for this particular quote “raining” here in my day , sending me down this beautiful path of thought and action…

And the opportunity to shower my readers with my “rain”.

“Freedom is available at any time, to anyone— and so is captivity.”

Martha Beck, Steering By Starlight

We always have a choice.

The hard part is that sometimes we forget!

Today, practice the Art of Remembering…

Possibilities are just waiting to be discovered.

“My perception of what is “far” has been changed drastically. I found myself thinking that distance is nothing when you’re willing to travel the miles and enjoy the ride while doing so. No matter how far your dreams may seem, make sure you take steps toward them every day and enjoy the walk. In good time you will get there.”

Hector Jesus Arencibia in Letters from Wanderlust

I find so many intriguing threads within the fabric of this quote…but “Perception” is requesting my attention first. As that particular topic would deserve an entire book, I will only say that perception is the crucial key to how we experience everything. The beliefs I carry (many entrenched for years) are always at the root of my thoughts and actions, and will always influence how I see the state of things.

The next fabulous thread that shows up is “Changed”. If I want my experiences to change, its time to consider altering my viewpoint, tough as that may be initially. We often find ourselves stuck in beliefs like “Sorry – that’s just the way I am” or “I couldn’t ever be different” or “She/he/they will never change.”

But hey! Reign in those runaway horse thoughts for a Pause moment!!

Contrary to the habitual stampede of old beliefs that may be going on in your mind right now, you are NOT stuck. “Stuck” is actually an illusion, a story we have agreed to accept and then allow to run our view of “how things are.”

So I’m here to dislodge the illusion of “stuck”. We always have a choice…therefore, Perceptions CAN indeed be changed!

Funny, I had initially written “perceptions can be hanged”…A perfectly timed typo(!), because Read more

“We must discover and accept what unique part of the divine mystery is ours to reflect. All each of us can give back to God* is what God has already given to us. We must choose it, respect it, and allow it to blossom. The most courageous thing we will ever do is to bear humbly the mystery of our own reality, to trust our divine image and grow in God’s likeness. It is simply a matter of becoming who we already are.”

Richard Rohr from 01-07-18 blog article titled “The Second Gaze”

(*If the use of the word “God” is a sticking point here, please do not turn away quite yet. Instead, consider selecting a term or phrase that is comfortable for you on your own spiritual path. What is important is to be open to any message that may be waiting here for your own heart.)

I am enjoying immersing myself in these words from this quote:

Discover

Accept

Reflect

Give

Choose

Respect

Allow

Blossom

Trust

Grow

Becoming

It is a continuous path of change that we walk. Each of these words cries for me to act, to be IN each moment, to share what is only uniquely mine to give.

Remember:

YOU are special.

Only you can give what YOU have.

Which of these action words will be “yours” just for today?😊 Gift yourself with just a few moments of stillness…and listen for the one word your heart is calling out to you most strongly.

Be willing to be patient…so you can hear your own soft voice.

Close your eyes and see where/when/with whom you can bring this chosen word to life today.

Truly SEE how you will BE…

Shiningly unique, as only you can offer.

It may happen as you imagined it…

Or…

you may just receive something quite beyond your imagination.

Walk with the innocent expectant wonder of a child’s eyes today so you may see the wideness of the world that is waiting for you!