The 99% Rule: Part 2 of 3

“Ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is about you. Ninety-nine percent of what bothers others has nothing to do with you.”

Deborah Adele, excerpt from The Yamas & Niyamas; chapter on “Svadhyaya” (Self-Study)

So we were wondering in the previous blog how we can possibly find a feeling of “control” when everything around us is predictably unpredictable and oftentimes not a match for “how we want things to be.”

The hope and power in our lives comes from moving forward based on this thought:

In the midst of all this disarray,

we must remind ourselves we actually ARE in charge.


How can that be so?!

Because WE EACH get to decide HOW each of us responds individually as we we go along.

Our choice.

Our path.

Since no single one of us could ever have control over everything or everyone outside of us, we are left with only one simple choice:

We need to practice controlling only OURSELVES…

Our own individual responses.

No one else’s.

Nothing else.

Just ourself.

This idea truly brings relief…


And blessed Sanity.

By choosing this perspective, we actually DO have control in this seemingly topsy turvy world. The problems occur when we try to effect our individual control where it is never intended to be.

That is:

Anywhere that is NOT within us.

Now this does NOT mean we just sit back and say,

“Well, that’s how things are.”

Or “This or that person/situation is never going to change.”

Or “I’m helpless.”

On the contrary.

By Pausing to evaluate, instead of automatically forcing our “right” way to do things or expect things…

or giving up and walking away, or running away in terror…

we can step gently away and re-evaluate HOW we want to be involved…how we want to truly show up and “shine” in any situation.

We practice electing instead a mindset that chooses only actions that cause no damage…to others, to our environment…and yet at the same time, to ourselves.

In effect, we make up our mind to show up with a different pattern of thought and behavior.


Since we are striving to do no harm in all areas –

people, environment, self –

Our actions must be balanced…and this presents our challenge. For with each “problem” I perceive, I will need to seek solutions that promote others AND at the same time promote myself…

I will be striving to balance Outside Myself with Inside Myself.

How about that for a complex solution?!


We’ll need that Pause a lot…

In order to give us time to practice habitually putting ourselves in a perspective of Love and Compassion for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING involved.

We’re looking for Win/Win here.


Some of us may be used to pushing our agendas through without allowing more time to consider the position of “other side”; then there are others among us who often do not speak up in a firm or timely manner so that we often get lost in the equation.

These two scenarios seem at first to both be Win/Lose.

But I propose that if there is a “Loser”…then even the “Winner” loses…

Because without finding a balancing solution, there is always damage to both sides.


Both forcing and succumbing stem from Fear:

Of not being heard…

Of not being loved…

Of not being enough.

Or simply not remembering we are EACH equally valuable.

We forget that we DO have other options than forcing, running, hiding or giving in.

But we won’t see these hidden solutions unless we Pause long enough to seek them.

How can we develop the kind of openness that this new kind of “being in control” requires?

Please meet me in Part 3 to discover Deborah Adele’s suggestion for putting the 99% Rule into action in your life.

The 99% Rule: Part 1 of 3

“Ninety-nine percent of what bothers you is about you. Ninety-nine percent of what bothers others has nothing to do with you.”

Deborah Adele, excerpt from The Yamas & Niyamas; chapter on “Svadhyaya” (Self-Study)


Adele’s words carry a punch that quickly brings us to a reality check…IF we’re willing to be curious about our current viewpoints. I find this quote freeing because it helps me see how I am holding on to so many things that are not truly necessary: Adele’s pointed words inspire me to examine more deeply the beliefs underlying WHY I feel I must be in charge of so many things.


Is that “Control” I see lurking behind those kinds of thoughts?

I never thought of myself as a controlling person…until I read this. And I am now beginning to realize it’s not necessarily my outward actions that I need to examine here. It’s what’s going on inside with my thoughts.

Of course we all would love to be in control! We’d choose all the “right” weather, the most uplifting responses from our loved ones, the smoothest quickest traffic, optimal health, more impressive talents, copious positive feelings…(I think you know how to add on here, so have at it!)

But I see too that if we’re so busy choosing and orchestrating everything, feeling frustrated and stressed and even victimized when things didn’t quite match our “Control Template”, we eventually find we are actually losing control of the one gift we DO have:

Our present moment.

Right now.

Our Past and our Future only hold power through the attention we give them.

But NOW…is the only point in time that anything can be observed, evaluated and changed.

And not only do we have to Pause to do that…we need to choose to do so on a regular basis, not just sporadically.

So consider this: what will be happening if MY idea of what is “just right” doesn’t quite match someone else’s? Doesn’t quite match what is happening right now?

What response do I typically choose:




With any of those, I’m going to be experiencing some level of upset, usually resulting in a mixture of mayhem mentally, emotionally and/or physically.

Pause Point:

Do I really want to keep repeating choices that invoke such mayhem?


We’ve all been there.

We plan this or that.

Expect this or that.

And then life will go and hand us…

Exactly “NOT What We Wanted”.

So infuriating.

So unfair.

So crushing.

So wrong, right?


So normal.

We wish people and situations to be different and we just KNOW we (and others) would have been happier if things were just a bit different…if only OUR plan had come to be, instead of what did happen.

And yet…as I Pause…that idea really doesn’t make sense.

It’s a “too many chefs in the kitchen” equation, with everyone’s expectations simultaneously desired.

Nothing would EVER work out ALL the time.

And isn’t that the definition of Life…of the “Reality” that so often marches right up and hands us what we DIDN’T want?

So I’m thinking…

Okay…maybe the way things are set up is the only way our world COULD work. The variety, the contrast, the ups and downs, the successes and disappointments…it’s all a “wholistic” smorgasbord of infinite available possibilities.

For me.

For you.

For everyone.


So HOW in the world can we prepare for times when things do not fit in with what we believe and want…

Because things WILL go awry.

But does this mean we just have to accept being “unmoored”, subject to everything that comes our way…and therefore unable to direct our own lives?

IS there an alternative?


Join me in Part Two to explore further.

Home…In An Instant

“For one breath, release all tasks, fears and regrets that aren’t necessary to exist in this moment.

There: you’ve just visited Home.”

Martha Beck

Martha Beck definitely gets the “Nutshell Award” for this quote!

When we are forced to look at what is NOT necessary in THIS moment…

We can see right away that we are already carrying more than we need for THIS moment.

We are so automatic in how we take on what are so often extraneous thoughts and emotions that keep us from truly being Awake Right Now.

Just Pausing…brings us face to face with this ingrained pattern we all have!


Let’s go Home for just a moment, shall we?

We take one breath.

Release the extra stuff we really didn’t want anyway.


Just take another moment to notice how that feels…

In your mind

Your body

Your spirit.

Be with that for just a few more breaths.

How is it…

Being back Home again?


Our task is to practice repeating this single Pause/Breath/Notice/Release as often as we can…

Becoming Masters in the process.

One step of one breath…

Becoming, over time, a series of single droplets 💧 of release.

Pause and try it just once.

You will be amazed at the simplicity…

And you will WANT to repeat it…

Because it is Freedom for your Soul, Mind and Body.

You won’t believe what you can let go of.

But what is even MORE wonderful is that the motivation for future repetition…

Lies in the very act of simply DOING it.

It’s all inclusive.

One breath.

At a time.


Do this for YOU today.

Go Home Now .

Then return Home as often as you can remember.

See what happens each time.

I would love to hear of your experiences with this!

Beyond All Ideas

“One of the most commonly overlooked spiritual practices is daring to be completely honest with everyone you encounter. Some may say others cannot handle their honesty, but true honesty is not a strategy or a weapon of any kind. 
It is the willingness to be open and absolutely transparent in sharing how any moment feels in your heart. It has nothing to do with confrontation, accusation, or any form of blame. True honesty is the willingness to stand completely exposed, allowing the world to do what it may, and say what it will, only so you may know who you are – beyond all ideas. 
Matt Kahn

These words are profoundly wise and I love how they encourage us to speak and act in love, choosing words and actions that will do no harm BOTH to ourselves and to those with whom we interact.

To connect with another in that single moment, not solely to reveal ourselves to them, but even more, to awaken to our seeing ourselves anew…

This is the ultimate expression of being Present. It first takes awareness to realize we have been gifted with the opportunity to share Who We Are…

And then it takes courage to seize that only precious chance and go with it….

To see Who appears.

If we are able for even a moment to release our fear of being judged or rejected or misunderstood, we come to realize that it was not just about fearing what another’s response would be…

It was more so about coming face to face with our own judgement, our own rejection and our own misunderstanding…


When all is said and done, it is almost always ultimately never about the other person…

It is about you.

What you are seeing outside you…?

What is affecting you…?

Is sourced within you.




“Why would I ever choose to share honestly how my heart is feeling in any moment? That’s just too much risk and I don’t want to be hurt.”

But what is really my purpose in such sharing?

Am I seeking acceptance?

Reciprocal love?


Are these really the best reasons for me to reveal deeper pieces of myself?

Or is there a more transformative motive I could choose?

If I could shift my intention instead…to seeking to learn something more of my hidden self…

Some new strength

Some new talent

Some new thought waiting to step onto the stage….

Could I simply be curious about Who might show up, if given this chance….?

If I refrained a bit more from my tendency to place so much importance on the capricious responses of other people, other situations…and rather allowed Myself to stand in instead as the one to be accepted, loved and appreciated…BY ME…

What sort of results might I see then?


Pause once more.

Imagine just one thing about yourself that you will reveal today…some piece of yourself you have been avoiding…or maybe not quite being fully transparent about.

Imagine yourself being just a little more open, as you step out from behind that cloak of fear that accompanies this. You turn to see that fear…and you notice that you are separate. You are no longer connected…you are free.

Imagine the words or actions you will choose that show your deep intention…that you will neither harm yourself or another.

Notice how this experience is feeling in your body…and where you are feeling it. Breathe there.

Notice how your mind is responding?

“Shall I

Fight, flight, freeze?!

Or breathe once again and stay a moment more with my avoidance.”

Notice now what your heart is trying to say…

To your choice to be (as Kahn states) :

“Who You Are – beyond all ideas”?

Notice what happens…

When you finally go “beyond all ideas”

And create in your own life…

What you have imagined first in your heart?

En-Lightened Vessels

“In the process of letting go, you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself.”

Deepak Chopra

Which do I desire more:

To maintain the “knowns” of my Past memories…

Or to uncover what is “yet to be known” of my Undiscovered Self?

The former is stasis.

The latter is change.

The one harbors energy.

The other releases it.

The first commits to carrying everything and is chained to the ground…

The second soars above, free.


Pause and consider:

What if our “Loss”…

Is actually “Gain”?

Could this be?

If the root of my desires is truly to bring Change into my life…

Into my world…

Then my path for each (and yes, every!) decision I make is to relinquish what has gone before


Without exception…


So I may make room within…

So I may create a spacious spirit.

So I may



Who I Truly Am.


Tao Te Ching 4 speaks of the utility of an empty vessel.

It is only useful in its inner space…in its emptiness.

Fill it once

Leave it so…and it will never be filled again.

But empty it?

Now it is ready to be filled anew.


We were never created to “hold” things over time.

We were created to be filled and then to pour out

Over and over.

We are Beings of Light (radiance)

And we are Light Beings (weightless).

We are intended to be Emptying Vessels that pour light everywhere…

Remaining ever expectant to be refilled and emptied

Once again.



Close your eyes.

Breathe deeply.


Select one thought or emotion that is filling you…

That may be keeping you from being refilled.





Pouring this out.

Feel the Vessel that is Your Soul

Becoming a little lighter.

Breathe again.


Notice where within you that this lightness is showing up.



Allow gratitude for that lightness to fill the space you have just created.


Pour again.



See if you can use this imagery two more times today, noting how it feels each time

Within mind, body or spirit.



I Pause to choose thoughts and actions that create radiance and weightlessness in my life.

My gratitude is the source of my lightness.

I am pouring out now.

I am empty again.

I am ready to be filled.

I am honoring Who I Am.

The Soil of Now

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all that you ever have.

Make the Now the primary focus of your life.”

Eckhart Tolle

What happens when I am feeling out of control? When I feel I am being pummeled by life and believe I cannot take it? When I feel I cannot “do it all”, “be it all”, “stand any more”?

Sometimes just “being” with our feelings, thoughts, circumstances is so overwhelming and we will seek any way to escape…and there are myriad ways to do so.

But if we look more closely, we will find that we evade the “fight” and take “flight” by either returning to dwell in our Past or scurrying forward towards our Future…

And then we often find ourselves staying there overlong.

But Past and Future are “not Here” and so in a sense, they are “not Real”.

We may touch upon them…

But we really aren’t welcome to “stay” there because our souls were never intended to thrive there.

For Souls grow best in the Soil of Now.


“Living” in the Past fills us with wishes to:

~Change it because we regret it

(Does regret change the Past? No, but it can be used to implement change right now.)

~Push it away because we resent it

(Does resentment change what what was done? No, but it can be regarded and molded into something positive Now.)

~Immerse ourselves because we “deserve to be punished”

(Does self-recrimination change what occurred? No, but it can help us learn to look for the “Why’s” behind such thoughts and feelings so we may begin to heal Now.)

~Hold it tightly because we cherish it.

(Holding a lovely memory allows us to relive what nurtured us. Keep it too long tho, and a sadness may appear. But to feel briefly, breathe and then release? We then receive the beautiful gifts from our past to brighten our Now for a moment or two.)

“Living” in the Future fills us with:

~Fear and anxiety over what could be…”What If?!”

(Can such thoughts really change what will be?)

~Anticipation over an expectation of a positive outcome

(Does this bring about the positive outcome? Sometimes not…and we have all known disappointments when we have grasped an expectation too tightly. But the energy of expectation and hope can be enjoyed as it touches our heart for a few breaths before we free it to move on.)


The point here is not to say “NEVER visit either place.”

It is rather to say,

“Be watchful over how MUCH time you spend there.”

Balance is key.

“Living” in either place is not Reality. In both places…

We find ourselves, on some deeper levels, lost and ill at ease.

This is because we are…

Living where we are not intended to live.

This is because Past and Future are actually inaccessible:

We have no control over either because we are truly incompatible with LIVING there. We can’t actually DO anything while there.


The Present IS, as Tolle so wisely states “all that you ever have.”

And yet we squander this gift over and over as we run frantically back and forth between Past and Present.

So just how much time do we spend in Now?

What are we doing right now…

With our own Now?

It is only Here Now that our opportunity for any control exists.

And also be aware: this is only regarding OUR OWN control…not anyone else’s. I am in charge of me…

And you, of you.

Him, of himself.

Them, of themselves.

Once we realize that all change in our lives can ONLY be created in our own Present Moment…

This then becomes the exact point in time we are freed.


The Past can be visited, yes.

The Future can be planned, of course.

But they are not where we are created to dwell…to LIVE…

And as for all that we carry that does not serve us?

Look closely and we can see that it is either sourced from our being mired in the Past or perhaps by our being hypnotized as we gaze at a shimmering, shifting Future.

Our Present, though…

Feels light.

Shines as light.

It is…




Ever accessible.



Ask yourself right now:

WHERE am I “Living”…right now?

How much time is spent in my Now vs. Past or Future?

Do I need to change my mind about the length of my stays?

Look more closely at Why I stay?

Uncover what it is I am avoiding about Now because it is too hard to BE with…and decide to be with, and breathe with it, for just a few moments in spite of how I feel about it?


Just Pausing to be curious brings you into your own unique Present.

So now…

Ask your newly unfettered self…

“What Seed Thought will I plant in the Soil of MY Gift of Now?”

Then take your Seed Thought,

Move lightly

One step

Towards that image of Planting and Growing.,,

Creating a beauty that was not there before.

See the new image in all its color?

This is You.




Welcome back.

What To Carry?

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”

Daphne Rose Kingma

As I Pause to step away and regard a thought, belief, emotion…or any experience…

I become Present.

And becoming Present I am then empowered to ask myself whether what I am going through is Past-based or Future-based.

If I find myself returning over and over to my Past, this means there is still more for me to lay down. When I no longer feel the need to go there, I have finally distilled the lesson that I truly need in order to move forward.

Once I have looked at what my Past can teach me, this allows my thoughts, beliefs and emotions to transform myself in this very moment: THIS “piece of light” I can carry into my future.

And this is all I was ever created to carry.




All else is extraneous…

And was never intended for me to maintain as my constant companion.

So…what I carry forward can only be that which enlightens, strengthens, empowers and encourages.

This even brings compassion externally, to all with whom I interact.

All else is dross…and so it is truly self-compassion to leave such detrimental elements

In my Past.

Without me.

I am not needed there any longer.


So there is a portion we let go of as well as a portion to carry forward. I must be intent upon watching for what serves and what does not…lightly holding the former…releasing the latter.

In a sense, then, I am allowed to “hold on”…but it must always fit the criteria of compassion and gratitude and love. If it does not, it MUST remain behind…for it is only burden, sickness and poison for my soul.

Once I have laid down what is no longer needed, I am completing the act of claiming my Future…

And my soul, my True Self, can walk forward truly unfettered and completely free.


Pause a moment.

Notice if you find yourself still dragging around ANY pieces of your Past, whether small or large that feel within you like heavy weights, pointed daggers, burning embers, raging fires…or perhaps there is numbness and distance hiding there.


Acknowledge that your heart, mind and body are messaging you…

Pleading with you…

To leave these elements in the Past.

Decide to relinquish these


See yourself laying them down.

For, did you know? They were never yours to keep.

They are not You…

Because they do not serve.

Ask within:

“What best serves my heart, mind, body and soul to take with me?”

Then choose to walk away with that alone…

If anything at all.

Take your first step

Embracing Curiosity.

You are now



A more complete version of You.

YOU have just recreated

Your Future.

CC’s: What We See

“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”

Henry David Thoreau

A faithful reader here on Power In Pause commented on how simply getting caught up in his day to day life was one way he could lose track of the meaning of what life was actually presenting. I know we all can relate to this…Life happens and all of a sudden, we finally stop and say,

“How did I get HERE?!?!”

(Notice we have to “stop” before we can notice!)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve “come back to the surface” and started attending to what’s going on around me, usually realizing I had missed out on a lot! This brought me to the question:

What concrete action can I take to help myself practice a more “Here, Now” mindset?

The Thoreau quote above has always been a favorite of mine because it gets right to the crux of our issue with Presence:

Whatever we attend to…is what we are choosing for our Reality in that moment: ultimately, whatever we notice IS our choice about what we are experiencing.

We are SEEING whatever we are looking for, “good”, “bad” or “neutral”.

We exclude other things that may be present and select what we want to see…

And usually take our next step based on that choice.

And this is why the Power that is in Pausing is so crucial:

Whenever we actually “come to the surface”, noting what we are experiencing (whether physically, mentally or emotionally)…this is our moment of Pause.

We are enabled to take in more: our blinders are off for a moment.

So our Pause is the perfect place to check back in and reassess how we’re choosing to live our lives.

But…just how can we get there more frequently?


One of my most successful actions regarding practicing mindfulness is to set an intention for the day…and I do this BEFORE I get out of bed in the morning, as it is freshest in my mind and more likely to have the strongest impact…plus it is usually the only part of my day that I can count on where I am not needed for something else! However, if morning isn’t suitable, you would choose another short space of quiet time that works for you…but you must be free to concentrate uninterrupted…

And of course, committing to be consistent is key as well.

So, shortly after I wake, I mentally scan my schedule for that day, imagining what circumstances (visual, aural, tactile…even tastes/smells) I would most likely encounter frequently. These experiences I call Common Catalysts (CC’s). Then I use one or more of these CC’s as the trigger to Pause for one deep breath. And with that single breath, I am immediately pulled back into my body and more deeply aware what I am actually doing and what is happening around me.

Some examples:

If I am running lots of errands, a CC could be each time I open the car door (Pause)…or walking through a door into a store (Breathe)…standing in line (Pause)…pulling money out of my wallet (Breathe)

If I am drawing, it would be the act of picking up my sketch pen (Pause/Breathe)…or putting it down. (Pause/Breathe)

If I plan to read a book, the turning of each page. (Pause/Breathe)

If I’m playing a round of golf, it could be the feel of each new grip of the next club I choose…or maybe the act of approaching each new tee box. (Pause/Breathe)

Perhaps it’s each time I wash my hands…(Breathe).

Oh and here’s one CC that will ALWAYS bring me back often:

Every time I pick up my phone!

(Ever notice how frighteningly integrated your phone is in your daily life?!)

For a challenge: try to go ten minutes without even THINKING of interacting with your phone and notice how often you are just thinking of it, not to mention actually using it.

Mind blowing to the max.


So your Common Catalyst can be anything concrete that you know will be coming up frequently in that particular day. You are essentially setting up subsequent Pauses by taking one Pause in the morning to set your intention to “watch out” for your CC’s.

By visualizing myself going through these CC events BEFORE they take place, their appearance “wakes me up” to the moment because I am, in a sense, returning once again to the Present to notice them.

Another help:

Jotting your CC’s down in your phone or on paper can also be extra reinforcement, using your visual and tactile senses…and then plan to check in later in your day to return to that list to see what CC’s you’ve utilized, as well as being reminded of ones you may have left out.

You can see how this type of practice might snowball into a well-established habit:

If I am attending to such “small” things as opening car doors, turning pages or picking up my phone…

How much easier will it be to notice the larger events that show up during my day?

The whole point is to improve the frequency of my return to the Present.

It’s not about being Perfect

It’s about PRACTICING. Practicing Presence…

That idea of “the journey, not the destination” that we so often hear of.

And EVERYONE is capable of practicing…

No Perfection necessary!


Thoreau hit it spot on:

The choice of focus ALWAYS dictates your OWN experience.

And if we awaken just enough to realize we want a different experience…

Then that is the time to Pause and change what we’re looking at…

So we can truly “see”.




Un”Modified” Love

Some musings from Courtney A. Walsh…

“Dear Human:

You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. . . You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love in truth, doesn’t need ANY other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s plenty.”


This passage is so encouraging…

And so necessary…

As we all need to be reminded…

To be “Re-Minded”:

To choose a moment or two

To take the next step

In learning the practice of shifting perspective.

To discover yet one more jewel

Shining just there…

In the Crown that is our Soul.

To uncover more of

Who We Are…


To relearn the Truth that this is all that is ever needed or required

Of any of us.

We ARE Love.

And each moment we choose to be completely present

With only our love exposed…

Each moment we arrive

With no other expectations

Or judgments…

Each moment we leave behind the “attachments” that hide and smother

The Love that we are…

Then those are the moments we shine, reflecting the Wholeness of Who We Are…

With ALL the components that make us each so uniquely different…and yet simultaneously reflections of each other.

Now that’s ironic, isn’t it?


There was no separation ever intended to exist between

“Us and them”…

“Me and you”…

She and he”.

This has always been of of our own making

Along the path of our life…

This divide…

Sometimes handed to us by another

Sometimes formed of our own fears and doubts.

Separation is the opposite of Love…

And this is the only clue we need in order to know where we stand:

If we feel apart, we have hidden the Love we are.

If we are sharing the Love we are, there will be no separation.


To keep our balance

To keep our hearts steady

Our minds clear and our souls free of projections…

To return to the fullness of living

For which we were always intended…

It is crucial for us to Pause…

To “Re-Mind”’ourselves

Over and over:

We are created in Love

By Love

For Love

To BE Love.

Everything we need…

Was already “installed” within us at the beginning.

It’s already present in our “operating system”…

Right now.

So if we can just sit still a few moments

And allow this realization to bubble to the surface

We will not only begin to know our own power

And love ourselves

For all that we contain,

But we will also begin to remove the darkened shades from our eyes

The shadow bruises on our spirit…

And to see the same Love

That lives

Within each of our fellow beings…

No matter whether they are showing Separation

Or Love



I am thankful that Walsh took the time to pen her beautiful passage above…this “Re-Minder”…

Nudging me to make yet another Shift in my outlook.

I am honored to have been


That I am enough.

And all that is required is that

I “shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die” as ME.

New Worlds

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anais Nin

My daughter recently posted a picture of herself with two close longtime friends and the joy on each of their radiant faces inspired me to search for quotes about friends. I looked for quite some time before I finally found the one that reflected what I was feeling from this photo…and you just read that quote above.

The power of friends…

Where even are the words?!


I began to contemplate “new worlds” being born…simply because of the presence of a true friend in my life and how deeply grateful I am for each of them for what they taught me about myself…fostering that change for the better within my mind and soul that did indeed bring forth a “new world” in my life.

And so often brought me to do so for others too.

I am feeling very humble right now, just beginning to touch on thoughts of so many amazing people that have appeared in my life…

Some for shorter visits…

Some for extensive stays.

But each presenting some rare jewel that no other could quite have brought.

Today then, is about Friends and New Worlds.

Get ready to sink into just how wonderful your life has been.


Just for a moment, gift yourself with a Pause to bring to mind someone in your life who caused you to find a “new world” within yourself.

How did they do this?

It could be a tiny world…

Or a giant world…

Or any size in between.

Perhaps they laughed with you.

Or cried with you.

Shared a beautiful picture with you.

Told you “You can do this! I can SEE it!!”

Maybe they dove down into darkness with you with the sole purpose of bringing you back to the surface.

Perhaps they were silent, able to hear more deeply beneath what you were saying or doing than you were able to…then from that, helping yourself to hear and see more clearly.

Maybe they allowed you to sit and voice an opinion very contradictory to their own… without making you feel you had to conform or be anyone else but you.

Or they may even have spoken the words you were afraid to voice…but yet, in your hearing them pronounced, you were finally freed from some internal struggle that had been holding you back for so long.

They might have brought you food when you were so upset you had forgotten to eat.

There may have been a time they opened a door in your mind to a new way of seeing or interacting with your world…not so much giving you an answer but instead lighting a way to your discovering a new solution.

Were you ever gifted with a friend who…

showed you a future vision of yourself you never would have conceived of…

But because they did, you struck out on a path to see who this different “you” truly was…

And found that your friend knew you better than you knew yourself?

Because of such a friend…

You became More You.

Tears are in my eyes as I am overwhelmed by all these treasures I have received…



More than I can hold.



Think of just one person who has opened a New World for you.

Think of what they did or said.

How they did or said it.

How you felt then…

And now.

If they are no longer here in this realm, speak gratefully to them in your heart…as you sift through the memory of their imprint on your life.

If you have lost touch with them, go within yourself to name what they did…and then send them appreciation for their part in the changes they helped you to make.

If you are fortunate enough to have a way to reach out…

With a call

A text

A handwritten note

A visit…

To tell them of even just one tiny shining corner of what they brought to your life…

Share that with them.

Do it.

And soon.

In that moment of gratitude in that memory, you are not only reliving the New World they brought to you…

You are also gifting them with a New World as well, simply with the expression of joy you are bringing into their life.


A New World will always create yet another New World…

But we cannot see how truly miraculous and infinitely numerous they are…until we take a few moments to rest in remembrance…

For it is there we find we are ALL renewed once again.


To a New World.